"She's been saying a lot that she had no idea how different pregnancies can be, and she's been asking me a lot of questions like I used to ask her. She is not happy. I hated my pregnancy. They say [baby girls] take your estrogen so your hormones are more depleted. I don't know if that's true or not because I never had a boy, but I'm looking at Nicole—she loved the pregnancy with Lorenzo. This one, I'm scared of her. It's like The Exorcist."
--JWoww takes it upon herself to discuss Snooki's pregnancy and the difficulties she's been having, and should maybe possibly hush.
No, no, of course JWoww doesn't mean anything by this. This is just the way that she talks about dear Snooki, and Snooki would say the same thing about her. But doesn't it just seem somehow inherently catty to say that your best friend's pregnancy is "like The Exorcist"?
Love you ladies, you guys are doing great, just watch the cattiness, OK? That's all.
Guys, guys, come quick, because you'll never believe what happened: Jill Duggar is pregnant! No, I know, she just got married on June 21st, but she's already pregnant and willing to discuss it with major news outlets! How great it that?!
Here's Jill's sweet, short little statement:
"We're having a baby! We are so excited."
And here's good ol' Jim Bob Duggar's story about how the family found out:
"About 30 days after Jill and Derick got married they gathered everyone in the living room and shared the news. Everyone was clapping and cheering, and we were in shock, too."
Man, isn't that crazy? They just got married in June, two months ago almost exactly, and now they're announcing this pregnancy! It's so bizarre, too, to think that Jill and her husband, Derick, had their very, very first kiss on their wedding day, in June, and now in August, just two months later, they're telling us about their soon-to-be baby! Time sure flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?
Jill's due date is sometime in March, which makes sense because March is nine months from June. She'll probably have the baby in late March, since they got married in late June, and they absolutely, positively did not have premarital sex. Remember, the first time they even kissed was at their wedding. In June.
Isn't life such a wacky ride, y'all?
Oh, look, it's Brandi Glanville, an actual human adult who is capable of acting with grace and wit and general amazingness! It's neat, because LeAnn Rimes seems completely unable to act in such a manner, so what a refreshing treat for us all that Brandi has taken a quick moment to show us how it's done. It's good that in the mess that is LeAnn Rimes' pilfered marriage, there's just one voice of reason.
See, if you've been watching LeAnn Rimes reality show, or even if you've just been observing the train wreck from afar, you know that LeAnn and douchemaster supreme Eddie Cibrian have not been afraid to badmouth Brandi. Like, at all. So Brandi hopped on Twitter just to make a little clarification:
And friends, this is how you win everything. Just like this. This is how you do it.
Not sure if any1 noticed but I'm not in a feud with any1!I'm not perpetuating a non existent feud 2 get peeps to watch my tv shows!#ImHappy— Brandi Glanville (@BrandiGlanville) August 19, 2014
Hey, so here's this video of Miley Cyrus -- she's so weird! -- being weird and making weird faces and oh my god she's so weird! Like, have you ever seen anyone make crazy faces before?! She's just out there, guys. Totally out there and just one of a kind. "Wow, what a visionary!" people of the future will say. "The world has never seen anything like Miley Cyrus, nor will it ever see anything like her again."
But for real, maybe if Miley wants more attention these days, she could actually, I don't know, make some music. She's a singer, right? I couldn't remember, because she kind of seems like a professional wackadoodle these days.
Robin Williams' death has evoked a range of emotions, from grief to love. But the one emotion none of us is talking about is guilt.
TMZ has reported Robin was hit hard by the cancellation of his show, "The Crazy Ones." He viewed it as a "personal failure" because everything rode on his back.
When Williams died, the outpouring of love was enormous and immediate -- people were talking about Robin as the genius of entertainment who was unequaled.
Fact is ... Robin had a hard time in the last 5 years. The roles dried up because of his age -- something he complained about. And the biggest fact: people didn't support his show. Maybe it wasn't good enough or we had other things to do when it was on, but it wasn't supported. And that hurt him.
Fact is ... everyone's life is marked by highs and lows. When we deify people who die and create false images of unqualified success, it does no one any good. By deifying Robin Williams, we created the guilt in ourselves for not supporting his last big project.
Fact is ... he was a genius with many successes and failures -- a great human being. It's OK that we didn't support every single one of his projects. His batting average gets him in the Hall of Fame ... and isn't that good enough?
Poor Taylor Swift -- if it's not one thing, it's another, and her latest single, "Shake It Off" -- a song about shaking off all the negative vibes from her haters, even going into detail about how the public analyzes her romantic life -- is catching flak for her video, saying it's racist and is chock-full of cultural appropriation, but here's the thing, dear God, since we even need to go into this, apparently: it's not.
A lot of the racism talk started with Earl Sweatshirt of Odd Future, who tweeted all this:
haven't watched the taylor swift video and I don't need to watch it to tell you that it's inherently offensive and ultimately harmful
perpetuating black stereotypes to the same demographic of white girls who hide their prejudice by proclaiming their love of the culture
for instance, those of you who are afraid of black people but love that in 2014 it's ok for you to be trill or twerk or say n----
Now really, we shouldn't even be discussing this, because you can't criticize something like this without even watching it. That's just ridiculous and ignorant and annoying. But even if he had watched the video and come to the same conclusion, well, he'd still be wrong. How is a video of Taylor Swift dancing offensive and harmful? The last time we checked, dancing is for everyone. Taylor did ballet, lyrical, hip hop, and then she posed with a bunch of girls who twerked while she she just kind of shook her ass because, bless her, she's wise enough to know that she does not possess that skill. It's a fun video, and really, these days, the world could use a dumb, fun little Taylor Swift video.
So everyone, please: stop trying to find gigantic issues in things where there just aren't any. There are enough things going on that actually are offensive and harmful, and there sure as hell is real racism out there. Let's not waste our energy on fighting against harmless, sweet little Taylor Swift.
Well, guys, we all know that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, and, likewise, it seems that you can clean off Kim Kardashian's face but, goodness knows, you can't get her to stop taking those damn selfies. She posted this photo of herself on a jet ski with a friend, and the thing is that she looks absolutely gorgeous. She so stunning without tons of makeup, and it's always so nice when she decides to, you know, show her actual face instead of her face plus a few pounds of foundation, powder, bronzer, and god knows what else. But does she HAVE to show us this?
It's been established already that Kim can't just go on a vacation and have fun like a normal human being without taking literally hundreds of selfies, and this just proves it. And isn't that just one of the saddest things you've ever heard? Kim obviously can't have any experience whatsoever unless she documents it by taking a picture of her face, and we should just take a moment to consider the tragedy in that.
But hey, she does look great! So congrats (?)!
All right, guys, if you sat down and thought real, real hard, do you think there's even the slightest possibility that you could come up with a cuter, goofier, meatier dude than Vin Diesel? Yeah, there are a lot of hot dudes out there in the world -- we'll make a list together sometime -- but, like, do any of them do very serious Rihanna covers? Do any of them do interpretive dances to Katy Perry songs? The answer is no. And that is why Vin Diesel is superior. That is why occasions like this, when Vin shares photos of himself naked in the shower, should be celebrated like the wondrous treasures they are.