40 minutes ago, by Sarah Taylor
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Maybe -- just maybe! -- if we give her what she wants, she'll go away. Or at least start making better music or wearing something other than black lace and leather all the damn time, who knows. Madonna looks super, super great -- this is what she wants us to say -- and there's no denying that. 

There's also no denying the fact that an upside-down picture and a corset helps a bit, too, but we won't go into that ... Madonna looks great for any age, and now maybe her confidence will have been boosted enough to go and do some more "Material Girl"-type stuff. We can dream and hope, right?

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Filed Under:  Madonna , hot photos , Photos
10/31/2014 6:00 AM PDT, by Sarah Taylor
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This photo -- by Kylie Jenner standards -- isn't all that bad. Yeah, the skirt or whatever is a little short, and those pointy bondage shoes just scream all the wrong things, and that face ... well, y'all know how we feel about how Kylie's face is changing with "puberty events," but what's really concerning about this picture -- what's truly alarming -- is the caption she posted it with. Which was this: 

"promise to love you & obey & let you.." 

Let you what, Kylie Jenner? You just close your little underaged mouth before you tell us let "who" "what," and we'll let this alone, because sorry -- no 17-year-old should be sharing photos captioned "promise to love you & obey & let you" anything unless they're talking about Oreo cookies and being in bellies. 
For the last time -- before, you know, she turns 18 -- somebody please take this girl's phone away. We don't need to go through this again with a young reality TV starlet, OK? Good heavens. 

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Filed Under:  Kylie Jenner , hot photos , Photos
10/31/2014 5:00 AM PDT, by Sarah Taylor
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Lindsay Lohan, if you can believe it, is just simply not dating Tom Cruise. Even though it's so totally plausible, it's just not true. It's so not true, in fact, that Lindsay herself felt compelled to make an official statement contrary to the rumors that we didn't even know existed that she is absolutely not dating Tom Cruise. 

Sigh. Don't you feel better now? 

Gosh, it's like Lindsay thinks it's April Fools' Day and not Halloween. Confusion, confusion, confusion, right?

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10/31/2014 4:00 AM PDT, by Sarah Taylor
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"Anything a man can do, a woman has the right to do better."

Chelsea Handler just about sums up how we, at Fishwrapper, feel about basically everything. However, it's unfortunate that men can post photos of themselves topless, while women still can't ... as if breasts are solely sexual creatures with their own minds, and aren't useful for anything but ogling, fondling, or the like. 

Later, naturally, when the post was removed from Instagram, because they're afraid of nipples also, Chelsea became irate, saying, "Taking this down is sexist. I have every right to prove I have a better body than Putin. ... If a man posts a photo of his nipples, it's OK, but not a woman? Are we in 1825? " 

Unfortunately, for women, yes, Chelsea -- we are in 1825. I mean, we can vote and everything, and make 70 cents on the dollar, but progress, right?

UGH, Instagram. Grow a sense of humor ... or at least a sense of equal rights. 

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10/30/2014 3:30 PM PDT, by Emily Trainham
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The Duggar family, as you know or could surely imagine, are a pretty conservative family, and definitely, definitely pro-life. We found that out when Jessa Duggar compared abortion to the Holocaust, and we're finding it out again today from Anna Duggar's Twitter account.

Anna, wife of Josh Duggar, has been going on this little Faith, Family, Freedom Tour with her husband, "to encourage voters to consider faith, family and freedom when casting their ballot on November 4th." Naturally, she's been exposed to a whole lot of pro-life discussion, and she felt so strongly about it that she retweeted this absolutely absurd message: OK, so judging by this, Anna believes that liberal voters support slavery and lynching? Is that right? Of course, she might be referring to the time when the Democratic party, particularly the Southern Democrats, were for slavery, but that was about 150 years ago, when slavery still existed in this country. Either way, what a worthless and ridiculous contribution, huh?

We really don't expect a lot from the Duggars, but man, do they manage to disappoint anyway. 
Filed Under:  Anna Duggar
10/30/2014 2:30 PM PDT, by Sarah Taylor
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Guys, it's a brunette Renee Zellweger on the set of her new movie in Mississippi, and doesn't she look great? If you squint just right and envision a few extra pounds, you could almost be looking at Bridget Jones, right? 

Who really knows what Renee's doing -- or "not doing" -- with her face. Let's quit beating a dead horse. Renee's gorgeous, but she's not Bridget Jones anymore. And if that's the path she's choosing, then we're just going to have to sit back and respect it, right?

Love the color on you, girl -- brunette really suits you.  
10/30/2014 1:30 PM PDT, by Emily Trainham
In this latest little clip from next week's episode of "True Tori," we get the amazing privilege to see Tori Spelling have a little baby breakdown after meeting with her ex-husband, the poor guy she cheated on to be with astounding asshat Dean McDermott. It's very sad, and there are a lot of tears, and there's even a semi-sympathetic Dean, but really, this clip only does one thing: it proves that karma really is a great big ol' b-word.

Let this be a lesson to us all. May this video teach us never to be adulterous, to respectfully end relationships we no longer wish to be in, and, above all, to never, ever, under any circumstances get with Dean McDermott. It will only result in tears and sadness and really embarrassing reality shows. Ask Tori. She knows.

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10/30/2014 12:30 PM PDT, by Emily Trainham
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Nick Jonas
, bless his little heart, he's just been trying so very hard to do his own thing, to be his own person outside of being a Jonas Brother. And that's admirable, and that's great for him and everything, but he's just been so insufferable about it. What with all the nude-ish photos, and the incessant hyping of his new song, "Jealous" -- it's real good, remember, and he'll follow you on Twitter if you buy 20 or more copies of it -- it's just gotten to be too much

Here's this thing that Nick said about his "Jealous" song in a recent interview:

"Everyone deals with it. There are moments when you just get it in your head—jealousy is a universal feeling, and the best way to deal with it is to listen to this song and have fun, dance, or do whatever."

You heard it straight from Nick, guys: if you feel jealous, all you have to do is listen to his song, "Jealous," by Nick Jonas! You will have so much fun and forget all about your bad feelings! And you will probably have 20 times more fun if you buy the song 20 times! It is the only way to feel good in your life, buying Nick Jonas' music. So treat yourself, friends. You deserve it.
Filed Under:  Nick Jonas , Interview