8/1/2015 4:45 AM PDT, by Emily Trainham
This is the latest stop on the never-ending Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian Train of Breakup-Related Sadness, and boy, is it a sight to see. It looks as though Scott is finally starting to understand what's happening, like he's really beginning to take things as seriously as you'd imagine such a breakup would be. And it's rough.
Yesterday evening, Scott posted a selfie, explaining that he was "at my best friend's wedding" and that he "couldn't be happier" for him. Sweet, right? A few hours went by, and then he posted a photo from the reception. Ready for it?
And now this is where the pain comes in. See that caption? "When u realize the grass isn't always greener." It looks like Scott is holding a place card for his wedding guest, which would presumably have been Kourtney, had they not split. And it also looks like that card is kind of bumming Scott out. Maybe he had to go to the wedding alone and see all that love expressed right in front of him, or maybe he brought a random lady instead. Either way, he's obviously not feeling that great.
Just pull through this, OK, Scott? Figure it out, do what you need to do, and get through it. Because this? It's seriously not working.
7/31/2015 2:00 PM PDT, by Emily Trainham
There are some people in this world, people like singer/songwriter/professional jackass Ted Nugent, for instance, who just insist on being horrible. Any chance that they may get to do something good or say something nice, they just throw it away in favor of incomprehensible douchery. And that is exactly what Ted did when asked about the tragic killing of Cecil the Lion.
Here's the lovely little comment he made on his Facebook page:
the whole story is a lie. It was a wild lion from a "park" where hunting is legal & ESSENTIAL beyond the park borders. all animals reproduce every year & would run out of room/food to live w/o hunting. I will write a full piece on this joke asap. God are people stupid
Oh God, Ted, they are stupid, right? All the countless people who are outraged at Walter Palmer for killing the lion are stupid, officials in Zimbabwe who want to extradite him because "he violated our laws" are stupid, and Palmer himself is stupid for cooperating with those officials. Yes, everyone in this situation is just stupid as all hell, and Ted alone is the one who sees the truth. That makes sense, right?
Ted also posted an article about Zimbabwe's president eating baby elephant (which is very sad but does not make the killing of Cecil any more OK) with the lovely and slightly racist introduction of "Zimbabwe has their own black devil tyrant. Sucks dont it." He also posted this:
Cecil, the other whitemeat. Lion's lives matter? Bulls---. Only if they are disrespected with a human name. Black lives matter? Bulls---. Apparently not in Chicago Detroit LA DC Philly Compton South Central etc etc where they are slaughtered daily with no one giving a good goddam. Sick dishonest hypocrite society PC from hell. Lions are a renewable resource. Go back to sleep.
See, Ted doesn't seem to understand that the majority of people are capable of caring about more than one issue at a time, that there's not a strict hierarchy of tragedies. Just because one issue is upsetting doesn't mean another issue is any less important. Sadly, there's just no reasoning with some people, and Ted Nugent seems to be one of them. So let's just all wish him good luck and hope that someday he sees the error in his insanely awful ways. I think we've all earned the right to just be done for now.
7/31/2015 1:00 PM PDT, by Emily Trainham
Don't worry, friends, if you happen to feel a quick wave of severe nausea: it's probably just the thought of Alan Thicke and his good ol' boy, Robin Thicke, being sketchy that's causing it. Because Alan, the original Thicke creepster, made some comments about Robin's relationship with 20-year-old model April Love Geary, and if that's not a day-ruiner, who knows what is.
Alan was at last night's "Vacation" premiere with his wife, Tanya -- who, by the way, is 28 years younger than Alan -- when they were asked about Robin's relationship. They had some nice things to say about April, and then Tanya made a comment about the age difference, saying that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." She elaborated with "I wouldn't expect anything less. I think it's also very important that she's also very mature. I think that says a lot. She's a very mature young lady. A very beautiful, smart, mature young lady." It's all just too much.
Look, there's nothing fundamentally wrong with relationships between people of different ages. Even vastly different ages. You can't help who you fall in love with, you can't choose your soulmate, that sort of thing. It's not like we're saying that all relationships with age differences are weird. We're saying that these relationships with age differences are weird. Alan and Robin both have a history of behaving questionably towards and about women, so when they choose partners that are both absolutely gorgeous and much younger, it seems fishy. It seems like compatibility and love are less important than looks and comments of "yeah, bro!" from fellow douchebags. Which, it should go without saying, is not OK.
There are so many lessons to learn here, it's hard to know where to start. For all the hot young girls out there, please steer clear of shade-masters like the Thickes, unless for some unfathomable reason you actually have genuine feelings for them (or if you know what it is and just want to take care of business: do you, ladies). For all the men like Alan and Robin who go for looks over personality, well, hope it's all worth it in the end. And for everyone else, man, isn't it such a bummer that people can't just behave in a decent way?
7/31/2015 12:00 PM PDT, by Emily Trainham
Oh look, everyone, it looks like LeAnn Rimes is going on a little tour and announced the good news to us all, how sweet is that? This is actually great news, no snark intended, because LeAnn truly is a very talented singer, and there are people out there who would love the opportunity to hear her perform live. She also looks gorgeous in that picture there, because in addition to being talented, she is a beautiful woman. It's so great that ... wait, what's that thing below her name? Is that the title of her tour? 1982? Oh, LeAnn!
Let's think for a moment, friends, about who is the most popular pop star in the world right now. Taylor Swift, obviously. And what's her tour called? 1989, right, after her latest album, named after the year she was born? Curious. And it looks like LeAnn was born in 1982, hmm, curiouser and curiouser. Could it possibly be that LeAnn is taking an idea from another, vastly more popular artist to launch herself back into the public eye in a good way?
It's hard to say, friends. I mean, it's not hard to say that Taylor's tour had something to do with LeAnn's decision in naming this tour, it's just hard to say what she was trying to accomplish by doing so. Maybe she thought Taylor's young fans would be confused and purchase her tickets. Maybe she just wanted to do what all the cool kids are doing these days. Whatever her intentions were, there is just one appropriate reaction: LAME.
7/31/2015 11:00 AM PDT, by Emily Trainham
Hey, before you check out this photo of Rob Kardashian, have a quick little chat with your heart and ask it if it can handle anymore sadness right now. There's been a solid amount of celebrity-related, and even specifically Kardashian-related, sadness going around lately, so you need to do your best not to overwhelm yourself with this, which, by the way, would be super easy to do. After all, Rob Kardashian has been a source of great sadness for the past several months, what with his hermity actions and that storyline on "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" last season where his family cried and urged him to get help for whatever it is that's causing his problems. This latest thing may be enough to send anyone over the edge.
Let us present Rob's latest (and only) Instagram post:
Oh, Rob. Come back to us, OK? Not because you owe it to us to be filmed for your family's reality show, and not even in a way that would bring you back on the show. Just so we know that you, a fellow human that's going through some stuff, are happy and healthy and all right.
7/31/2015 9:00 AM PDT, by Emily Trainham
We've suffered for a few weeks now through Scott Disick's sad, bad choices, and now we know that it does not get any easier to watch.
It's so hard to see this guy screw his life up so forcefully and so completely while carrying on like everything is normal, like his life hasn't been publicized to the point where it seems like even strangers can see the catastrophic choices he's making while he can't. It's hard, too, because addiction is a true disease, so while we want to detest him for the things he's done, we also know that he's not totally in control right now.
So hey, things are already feeling too real, so why don't we go ahead and heap this new information on the pile of sadness?
"He really does want to be honorable, but the temptations are just too strong. He's acting out because he's in pain, and he's in a spiral. I think Scott doesn't realize how dangerous his partying really is. When he's partying, he's distracted. He's not focused on the right things. He says it's his job, but it's voluntary for him. He doesn't need the money. And I don't think he realizes how insidious his behavior really is. And I don't think he gets it. If he did understand it, he'd stop."
That's a source close to Scott explaining how he just doesn't get it, as if it weren't painfully obvious. And just when we thought we were reaching maximum woe, we have all this hopelessness to throw in there, too. What can even be done to help Scott if he doesn't even realize there's a problem? Does he really feel that indifferently about his split from Kourtney Kardashian, if that wasn't enough to shake him out of this? If that wasn't enough to make him "get it," then what will be?
Filed Under: Scott Disick
7/31/2015 8:00 AM PDT, by Sarah Taylor
Here's Kim Zolciak, and here's Kim Zolciak's waist. Or rather, the near absence of Kim Zolciak's waist, because she's on the road to cinching it so hard that it's beginning to disappear into itself.
Hey. It's her body, and it's her business, right? It's only going to affect us if the madness begins to trickle down and spread throughout the masses, inciting riots of women and men contorting their bodies into impossible proportions.
The end is near -- here come the Modified Humans. Well played, Cassandra.
7/31/2015 7:00 AM PDT, by Sarah Taylor
Unreleased photos of Kurt Cobain's death scene are up for grabs ... and it seems that if Courtney Love has anything to say about it, they won't be for much longer. If that doesn't scare all sorts of sense into you, then hey -- you might just be Courtney Love.
According to the Seattle Times, a judge will hear arguments as to whether or not to release "grisly" crime scene pictures at a new trial, as well as reexamine the investigation that took place over 20 years ago ... and it's making some people pretty uncomfortable.
A man by the name of Richard Lee is suing the city over the release of the photos, saying that discretion falls under the Public Records Act. Lee is also the host of a public access show called "Now See it Person to Person: Kurt Cobain Was Murdered," so it only makes sense that he'd be pushing for previously sealed records to be released.
Lee contests the notion that Cobain died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound ... saying that he doesn't believe a gunshot wound even really existed.
The city -- as well as Love and Cobain's daughter, Frances Bean, claim that the records should not be released in order to maintain the integrity of family privacy ... which only makes the case more compelling -- at least according to Lee.
Frances says, “I have had to cope with many personal issues because of my father’s death. Coping with even the possibility that those photographs could be made public is very difficult. Further sensationalizing it through the release of these pictures would cause us indescribable pain.”
If we're being honest, FBC is making a valid point -- why dredge up old horrors in order to satisfy the media's thirst for blood? We get it.
Courtney herself says, "Public disclosure [of these photos] would reopen all my old wounds and cause me and my family permanent — indeed, endless and needless — pain and suffering, and would be a gross violation of our privacy interests. I would never be able to erase those haunting images from my mind. I cannot even imagine the enormity of the trauma this would cause me, not to mention many others.”
We're all for a good conspiracy theory sometimes ... but we think, in this case, it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. Hardly anything would be gained by making photographs of Kurt Cobain's dead body public ... other than satisfying the freaks who get off on that kind of stuff.
If there is a new investigation, we -- regular old John and Jane Doe -- don't need the grisly details.