"I love to make selfie books for Kanye and for his birthday, I made him a selfie book and he loved it. So for our wedding, I made him a new one. I hope he likes it."
--Kim Kardashian on "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" as the wedding prep on the show ramps up, and yes, y'all, of course Kim not only made poor (?) Kanye West one selfie book, but she made him two selfie books -- one of which was a wedding present, because apparently marrying Kim just wasn't present enough for the lad.
Can you even imagine living inside this girl's head? ... No, I mean, really, try -- I want to see if we can figure out just what it's like.
Y'all, this is Pamela Anderson -- 47-year-old Pamela Anderson, former "Baywatch" babe and model, and definite former hot mess -- and doesn't she look just downright prim and pretty? She absolutely does -- and if she's smart ... or her handlers are smart ... then this is the kind of look that she'll begin to adopt as a permanent one, because man, it is the best she's ever (ever) looked.
Verdict: Love it, of course. It just screams class instead of screaming profanities and nonsense about nudity.
"You just keep suckering me into these kids. I can't handle all this responsibility. ... Were you gonna wait [to tell me] 'til the kid popped out of ya? I just can't take care of more kids. ... This is ridiculous. It is always so sneaky with you. You need to stop lying to me. You just keep suckering me into these kids. ... I just kind of thought that at two, we did not want to have anymore kids and now I have to look after three. Just saying, it is freaking me out."
--Scott Disick to Kourtney Kardashian on the latest episode of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" -- the one where she tells him the news that he's going to be a father of a sure-to-be beautiful baby for the third time.
I get being taken by surprise -- and I get that sometimes the first reaction isn't the real reaction, it's that of the knee-jerk persuasion, but man ... speaking of jerks, Scott Disick has definitely got to be one of the biggest ones going, y'all. Whether he makes amends for this or not, it's on television for all to see, and especially his children ... one of which is on the way whether he likes it or not.
"Elvis, he wasn't wearing the outfits I was wearing but he was coming out and he was doing like the OG twerking... Like, no one wants to admit that he was twerking, he was. He was like sex. He was a symbol of sex but no one would have ever called Elvis a s--- because he wasn't a girl. It's that double standard and I think I'm doing something for the double standard."
--Miley Cyrus claims that Elvis Presley twerked, and what is even happening in this world?
There are just no words for where Miley Cyrus is at right now in her evolution of bizarreness. It's obvious what she's trying to do, of course, she's trying to get important conversations started about feminism and equality, and that's admirable, it really is. It's just that Elvis never twerked. He was not doing "like the OG twerking." Of course he was a sex symbol, but to say that Elvis twerked is like saying ... I don't know, I can't even think of anything more preposterous than the notion that Elvis twerked.
Maybe just try to make some sense next time, Miley. Just really go for it, all right? It would really do us all a world of good.
Hold on tight, because this is going to be the most embarrassing thing in the whole wide world, but Madonna allegedly wrote a song all about Lady Gaga. I know, it hurts, doesn't it? The idea that the absolute legend known as Madonna took the time and energy to dedicate an entire song to that ridiculous ol' Lady Gaga ... it's mind blowing, and not in a good way.
The song was supposedly written for Madonna's upcoming album, and here's a sample of what these unbearably dreadful lyrics may be:
You're a copycat, where is my royalty?
You're a pretty girl, I'll give you that
But stealing my recipe, it's an ugly look
Did you study me hard enough?
You're never gonna be, you're just a wannabe me
Like a sister all messed-up, who's gonna help you out?
In your fantasy, you can try it all. But you can't be me
You can walk the walk, even talk the talk
But you'll always be two steps behind me
If this is true ... it just can't be true. It's too mortifying. Surely Madonna wouldn't go this far, would she? Surely she would know better than to be this insanely embarrassing. Right? Please?
Before you go ahead and say, "Man, he deteriorated," wait -- this look very well could be for a play he's doing on Broadway, despite the fact that this is what he looked like before he actually even entered the playhouse later that night.
Rupert Grint today is definitely a far, far cry from Ronald Weasley of way back when, but sometimes things happen in a way that you don't really expect and don't understand.
Verdict: Love it. I mean, we have to love it -- is it not in the "Ultimate Harry Potter Fans and Obsessors" handbook that we're obligated to?
Honestly, y'all can stop trying now, because there's not going to be anyone -- ever -- in this whole entire world that will ever twerk as well ... or as seductively ... as Amber Rose.
This is how Amber celebrates her husband Wiz Khalifa's #1 album, but the only thing she's really done for her husband is make people drool over her gorgeous, flawless body ... I mean, Wiz Khalifa is, what, some kind of musician or something, right? It's like like we can't even remember anymore after watching this video. Damn.
"When I was growing up and when I was a pre-teen, the people that I had to look up to [for] body image [were] extremely underweight… [They] were all very bony at that time and that was the in thing. I really credit women like Beyonce and Kim Kardashian… [they] completely revolutionized what our generation's view of perception of what beautiful is and I really think that they had a huge impact on that. You can think whatever you want about the Kardashians, but they really did help tons of women feel comfortable in their own skin and I like to carry that message on. Look at J.Lo, look at Scarlett Johansson, Sophia Vergara, Beyonce – who I don't really consider human, she is more like a goddess – they have amazing figures it's more realistic and achievable."
--Demi Lovato explains why we as a society should appreciate Kim Kardashian, and isn't that just something else?
Really though, Demi is right, as usual. Yeah, it's kind of weird to think that Kim Kardashian revolutionized anything at all, but she did, didn't she? Before everyone knew every single thing there was to know about her and her family, the most widely accepted "attractive" body type -- I know, it's kind of gross to think that any body type is more attractive than another, but this is the world we live in -- was much thinner. These days, you still have the idiots that call Kim "fat," but things aren't what they used to be, friends. So Demi's right.. Go ahead and thank a Kardashian.