12/6/2013 3:00 PM PST, by Emily Trainham
Lady Gaga walked around London looking like this. No, in real life this happened. And it's not so much her little costume, even though that whole thing is pretty dumb too, and it's not even the makeup, which is spectacularly stupid. It's that she walked around with her face like this, with one eye closed and her mouth in that awful snarl, just so that she could be different. Just so that people could notice her. Just so that she could ART.
Really though, try this out for a minute. Go outside and walk around with one of your eyes closed. OK, then while you do it, just keep thinking about how special you are. That's how Lady Gaga feels every single second of her life.
12/6/2013 2:00 PM PST, by Emily Trainham
Here she is, once again: Brandi Cyrus, 26-year-old sister of our dear Miley and the greatest known possessor of the Cyrus family hotness. Don't you love her? Don't you wish that she could take over as the most successful Cyrus child so that we could see all this instead of Miley's coated tongue? Let's dream big today, y'all.
Brandi made the cover of this magazine called Nationalist, obviously, and since right now she's mostly known for her famous family, she had to talk about them a little. Here's her take on the Miley situation:
"She is SO true to herself and 100 percent authentic. Which is a rare trait to find in people in general, but especially in the entertainment industry where everyone is held to such unrealistic standards and trying to make an impression and be perceived a certain way ... I think that Miley is getting a chance to be who she really is, after years of having to be a fictional character on TV. I also know from experience that your 20s are full of things that shape who you are and it takes awhile to figure it all out. I'm 26 and I'm still learning who I am and who I want to be. Miley is in the very beginning of that journey."
Pretty standard big sister stuff, but honestly, if we get to see more of this girl, it doesn't really matter if she feels the need to defend Miley, does it? Because of attractiveness, that's why.
12/6/2013 1:00 PM PST, by Sarah Taylor
"I'm a Budweiser person. So I don't really understand [craft brews]."
--Jennifer Lawrence on just how down-to-earth she actually is, and how she's basically just your best friend from college or one of the guys. In the same interview, however, she also talks about how she watches "Keeping Up With the Kardashians," and so it doesn't cut in on all that awesomeness, we're going to assume that she watches it for the boobs and nothing else.
Love you, girl!
12/6/2013 12:00 PM PST, by Sarah Taylor
Raise your hands if you think this might just be the dumbest Kim Kardashian face you've ever seen. Are you raising your hand? You better be raising your hand, because aside from Kim's "Superstar" o-face, this is definitely the dumbest Kim Kardashian face you've ever seen.
Consider yourself lucky that you can experience this kind of secondhand glory in seeing what kind of stuff goes down when Kim goes to see Kanye West perform his music or Jesus-wannabe performance art or whatever on the road, the very best thing about it being that she shares it with us time and time again.
It's too easy, Kim. You set yourself up for it. ... And then -- horror of all horrors -- you take a picture.
Put your duck face away, girl. It's so 2010.
12/6/2013 11:00 AM PST, by Sarah Taylor
Hayden Panettiere, leaving the airport after arriving in Los Angeles from an extremely long flight -- wearing no makeup, nonetheless! -- looks so, so much better than most of us on our very best and most glamorous of days. The truth can sometimes hurt, but it's a necessary thing.
... Just like how Hayden's probably way too good for Wladimir Klitschko, and should probably be dating somebody like Ryan Gosling, because goodness, wouldn't that be the most adorable couple in the world, and oh, but Eva Mendes is still alleged to be in that particular picture, and sometimes life sucks, doesn't it.
Sorry about all these negative things, some or all of which that just might ruin your whole entire day. Just remember that no matter what you look like without makeup, and how Ryan Gosling just won't return your phone calls, Fishwrapper still loves you.
12/6/2013 10:00 AM PST, by Emily Trainham
All right, so the impossibly amazing Busy Philipps, right? In that photo on the right, which was taken just under a week ago, she has her usual blonde hair. But in that photo on the left, which she posted on Instagram yesterday, she's got that damn gorgeous dark hair going on. Is she not just a vision? A glorious sight to behold?
Tragically though, it turns out that the dark hair is just a wig. A magical wig that shows a secret window to a Busy Philipps that is not only beautiful, but mysterious as well, more sultry than bubbly. And yes, this whole entire thing was just an excuse to talk about how wonderful Busy Phillips is, but hey, is that really such a bad thing?
12/6/2013 9:00 AM PST, by Emily Trainham
Listen up, y'all, because Rashida Jones is here and she is talking a whole lot of words about vaginas and pop stars and truth! She wrote an essay for Glamour that she so perfectly titled "Why Is Everyone Getting Naked?" She covered a whole bunch of issues, but let's just go over some of her best points.
Here's her fantastic opening:
This fall I was hanging out with my sisters, catching up on pop-culture stuff. We watched some music videos, looked at a few Instagram accounts, and checked out blogs. And amid the usual duck-lipped selfies and staged paparazzi photos, a theme emerged: Stripper poles, G-strings, boobs, and a lot of tongue action were all now normal accessories for mainstream pop stars. Across the board the Instamessage seemed to be: "You know you want to have sex with me. Here, take a look at lots of parts of my body."
That was at the end of October, a month that had already brought us the Miley Cyrus cross-continental twerk-a-thon and Nicki Minaj's Halloween pasties. With the addition of Rihanna writhing on a pole in her "Pour It Up" video, and Lady Gaga's butt-crack cover art for the song that goes "Do what you want with my body," I was just done. I'd had enough.
And a solid dose of honesty:
If 1994 was the Year of O.J.'s White Bronco, 2013 was the Year of the Very Visible Vagina.
And the real issue:
Every woman's sexuality is different. Can all of us really be into stripper moves? The truth is, for every woman who loves the pole, there's another who likes her feet rubbed. But in pop culture there's just one way to be. And so much of it feels staged for men, not for our own pleasure.
And finally, a message to the actual pop stars:
Please stop saying you don't want to be role models. Because, guess what: You are. You want to sell millions of albums? You want to sell out a tour? You depend on the millions of people who adore you. So maybe just consider some sort of moral exchange program, in the same way that carbon credits make people feel better about driving an SUV. Go ahead and make videos in which your ass cheeks slap water around in slow motion; go ahead and tweet pictures of your undercarriage. But perhaps every eleventh song or video, do something with some more clothes on? Maybe even a song that empowers women to feel good about some other great quality we have? Like, I don't know...our empathy, or childbearing skills, or ability to forgive one another for mean tweets?
Can everyone please just listen to Rashida now? Please?
12/6/2013 8:00 AM PST, by Emily Trainham
If there is one thing that Farrah Abraham is good at, it's astounding the world with her startling stupidity and questionable choices. Like, she's so good at it. She basically does it every single day of her life, but sometimes, she involves her little daughter Sophia in the shenanigans too. And that's when things start to get bad.
OK, just watch that Keek that Farrah posted, all right? What is the first thing that you notice? No, after those ridiculous fake eyelashes (on which you can see the gobs of glue that adhere them to her eyes) that are about to consume her entire face. She's topless, right? She's filming some secret thing with ginormous eyelashes, she's topless, and she's with her sleeping daughter. That is what is happening right there -- that is Farrah's reality.
There's no problem with motherly nudity or semi-nudity around your young children (up to a certain age, maybe?), because family, but what is wrong is that Farrah would have the stones to film herself looking like that ... one way or the other. How much attention do you need that you're willing to go to these lengths? Who even knows what Farrah's even saying in this video? Nobody? It's probably because they're distracted by all the horror, that's right.
So is this the most disappointing, disgusting thing you've ever seen all day long, or what?
Filed Under: Farrah Abraham