Hey, Guess Who's Still Gross and Predictable!
1/5/2014 5:45 AM PST, by Sarah Taylor
Here's Kim Kardashian (as if you couldn't recognize the overexposed cleavage and backside for who it actually belongs to) and her new BFF Blac Chyna, both of whom apparently didn't get this year's brand-new memo telling people that no one cares about Kim Kardashian and Cronies' overexposed cleavage and backsides, especially in the form of ridiculous, indulgent selfies.
See, it's one thing for this selfie fad to still be an epidemic, but here's the truth -- don't even lie to yourself saying that you don't take selfies, because practically everyone takes selfies. Everyone. The difference, however, between your average person and a person who thrives on others' inane comments, is that you probably don't post 95% of your selfies on the internet for the world to see.
You probably take selfies for the reason that most people take selfies, which is because you're curious to get a fresh perspective and peek in on how other people physically perceive you. And normally, it's fine. You're likely not like Kim Kardashian at all, an abomination who just can't help but share every single "private" "intimate" "unscripted" "moment" of her life, including that of her incessant body-gazing smuttery.
See, today -- already! By essentially doing nothing at all! -- you've basically won at life, and all because you're not even like Kim Kardashian. Why don't you roll around in that a bit for awhile and let that settle in. And then go treat yourself to something nice today, because you deserve it, don't you?