Sphincter Says Most Annoying Brit What?

1/9/2014 9:00 AM PST
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Kelly Osbourne
, generally annoying human, sadly ended her relationship with Matthew Mosshart, the fella she was supposed to marry. Except it isn't so sad, because Kelly Osbourne is probably the first person ever to release a statement about a breakup that makes you dislike her more. For real, just look at this catty nonsense her rep released:

"Kelly and Matthew have decided to end their engagement. The split is amicable and the pair continue to have nothing but the utmost respect for one another. Kelly is looking forward to a new year full of fresh beginnings. No further comments will be provided by all parties and we request privacy, decorum and space from the press but don't expect it."

Oh, you really got us, Kelly. Did you expect us all to exhibit the same kind of decorum that you do when you tweet at pop stars to "eat my s---"? Oh, and you want privacy, and that's why you made a statement about something that no one really cares about in the first place? Cool, girl. We'll get right on that.

Speaking of getting right on that, it looks like Kelly might have already moved on. Are you ready for this? You're not ready for this.

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Yes, that is Justin Bieber. That is Kelly Osbourne, out doing that dang graffiti with little Justin Bieber, can you believe it? And sure, defacing public property with someone doesn't automatically mean you're dating, but Kelly posted these pictures on her Instagram and said "Justin is a lovely boy and have turned me into a true #Belieber tonight!" Could you just DIE?
Filed Under:  Kelly Osbourne
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