Looks Like This Tragedy is Really Happening
1/13/2014 12:00 PM PST, by Emily Trainham
Remember when we hoped against hope that Charlize Theron wasn't really dating Sean Penn, that the rumors and the reports and then evidence were all just tricks, and that Charlize would never actually date someone so beneath her? Yeah, it didn't really work. Charlize, who is a beautiful goddess, and Sean, who, even though he does do a lot of charity work, has been arrested multiple times for being violent, have been hanging out together quite a bit. They even went to a charity event together on Saturday night, where they were spotted -- wait for it -- kissing.
It's scary and weird and sad that Sean Penn, the guy who assaulted Madonna, is getting close with a woman as great as Charlize, but there's at least one good thing about this sad story: Charlize has convinced Sean to get rid of his guns. At that charity event they went to together, Sean made a speech about how "a strong woman who happens to be from South Africa" got him to donate all of his guns -- he had like 65, y'all -- to Jeff Koons, who will make a sculpture out of them, and then Anderson Cooper bought the future sculpture for over a million dollars, and all that money will go to help Haiti. So, uh, that's something, right?
If nothing else, at least we can take solace in the fact that if Sean Penn ever does anything at all to hurt Charlize, the world as a whole will not stand for it. Let's just focus on that for now, sound good?