Two Classless Moves Do Not a Bestseller Make

2/17/2014 7:00 AM PST, by Sarah Taylor
0217_fish_launch_feud
Ah celebrity feuds -- you never really know what vitriol and anger is simmering behind those angelic faces, and Rosie Perez's new book, "Handbook for an Unpredictable Life" is no exception. ... Come to think of it, neither is the part of the book where Jennifer Lopez is allegedly a big, snotty jerk -- that doesn't surprise me, either. 

In an excerpt of the writing, Rosie notes what it was like to work with J Lo back in the "Living Color" days, referring to her as a "ghetto biatch" who would "roar." Here comes all the class: 

 “All of the girls were coming into my office complaining how she was manipulating wardrobe, makeup, and me, all to her advantage. ... [Later, she went off on me like] some ghetto biatch, screaming and pounding her chest! ... [She said]  'You pick on me, me and only me, every f–-ing day! Every f–-ng day! I work my ass off, deliver and you keep pushing me aside, treating me like s---! I know I’m good! I’m better than any of these girls, and you know it." 

Which, OK, would be fine, because of course Jenny from the Block was the best Fly Girl going. You've seen "In Living Color," right? However, Rosie claims that as Jennifer's star rose, her ego did, too, as well as the chip on her shoulder:

“I was blindsided [when she ignored me]. I’d thought we were cool. I called her up. She wouldn’t pick up. Frustrated, I left her an irate message on her answering machine. Instead of calling me back and hashing it out like friends do, she went on a major talk show and reiterated my lashing ... [Months later] Jennifer came over to me [at a club], smiling, saying hello as if nothing had happened. I should’ve let it go, played it off, too. Instead, I killed her with my biting tongue." 

Oh, all right -- now it all makes sense. Rosie couldn't get over the fact that Jennifer's attitude made her star bigger in certain senses, so she resented the chip on Jennifer's shoulder enough that she developed one of her very own. Nothing like doing the right things, ladies, and burying the hatchet for the sake of being a drama-free chick, huh? Guess not, but then most celebrity memoirs don't really sell if there isn't that element of drama to them, either. 

Way to class it up, ladies. Way to be.
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