And Now J. Lo is Trying to Be Beyonce, and the World Was Sad

3/7/2014 5:30 AM PST, by Sarah Taylor

The only thing worse than Jennifer Lopez "rapping" or whatever it is she's trying to do, is Jennifer Lopez writing songs that are an attempt to out-do Beyonce in the raunch category.

Aren't believing it yet? Here are the some of the accompanying lyrics to Jennifer's "I Luh Ya Papi," and no, I don't know why she can't just properly pronounce her words, either: 

I put it down for a brother like you
Give it to you right in the car, that’s you
We can first give you some of this, that’s you
And you’re all loving that J.Lo, true

Hold up, I can get you thrown up
Pull your trigger, go and get your gun up
All the time I hear her talk
Put a pin in it, now I’m ready, let it rock
Keep it number 1, that’s easy mathematics
Keep it number 1, baby, ain’t no static
Got that hourglass for you, baby, look at these legs
No brakes, go green, no red
If you wanna kill the body, gotta start with the head
Put it on you, I’mma need about 4-5 beds
Cause I love my papi

Oh that 24 hour
Feeling like I want one when it’s crowded
If you wanna hear your name, I shout it
Boy, you the shit, go and take a power shower
And I’m feeling like it’s me and you, I don’t doubt it
You can drop it how you want, I ain’t trying to call Miley
I’m loving me some you
Started from the bottom, baby, then we went roof

Awful, right? When are these ladies just going to woman up and stop exploiting what they think their best sex sex sex qualities are? You're a grown-ass woman, Jennifer Lopez. You've got a couple of good movies, and some all right music, and a family and integrity and that whole "avoiding selling out" thing to worry about -- is this the best you think of yourself?

God. Somewhere in a parallel universe, J Lo's character in "The Wedding Planner" is cringing and hiding behind some bushes.
Filed Under:  Jennifer Lopez , hot photos , Photos
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