Did Kim Kardashian Trade Her Ass for a Vogue Cover?
3/25/2014 3:00 AM PDT, by Sarah Taylor
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful mermaid with red hair who just wanted legs. Legs, that's all. Things to walk along the beach and collect shells on. She fell in love with this guy, and the pull to walk the sandy, palm tree-lined shores only became greater, because she probably wanted to do the dirty in the sand with him as well (though she was poorly advised in wanting that, because have you ever? Ugh). After suffering the hankering for legs for so long, she met this evil sea thing named Ursula, who, upon receiving her soul (and her voice), gave her legs, and she lived happily ever after in the sexy, sandy sand.
And that's what sounds like happened to ol' Kim Kardashian here -- ever since Anna Wintour of Vogue offered her the cover of her coveted magazine, it would appear that Kim's gone and traded in (?) her most precious asset -- her ass. Where'd that thing even go?
Are we surprised? Yes. Will Kim end up like the aforementioned little mermaid, happier than a fish out of water, in the arms of her forever prince? Well, for awhile, maybe. But I wouldn't go putting that big old donk away into storage any time soon ... you never do know when you might need to shimmy out of an uncomfortable situation, and Ariel knew that, too.