Alicia Silverstone Just Got Dangerous
4/24/2014 11:00 AM PDT, by Emily Trainham
Alicia Silverstone has some pretty unique views on parenting -- don't pretend like you could ever forget her baby birding her kid -- and for the most part, we've been down with it. What she's been doing has been working for her, obviously, and that's what's important. But then Alicia released her book, "The Kind Mama," and everything has changed. Because it is awful.
Guys, she trying to persuade parents against vaccinating their kids, because the shots are just "aluminum and formaldehyde." Here's her argument:
“While there has not been a conclusive study of the negative effects of such a rigorous one-size-fits-all, shoot-’em-up schedule, there is increasing anecdotal evidence from doctors who have gotten distressed phone calls from parents claiming their child was ‘never the same’ after receiving a vaccine. And I personally have friends whose babies were drastically affected in this way.”
And here's why your tampons are making you infertile and destroying your whole entire body:
“Your chichi is the most absorbent part of your body. Unfortunately, feminine-care manufacturers aren’t required to tell you what’s in their products, which means that no one’s talking about the potential pesticide residues from non-organic cotton and the ‘fragrances’ containing hormone-upsetting, fertility-knocking phthalates that are snuggling up to your hoo-ha.”
OK, and here's this unbelievably insensitive comment about postpartum depression:
“Though it’s less common among kind mamas, some women experience the blues after giving birth.”
But why should you listen to Alicia Silverstone's advice? Because her book is magic:
“[This book can] help prevent or even cure your PMS, insomnia, allergies, breakouts, weight struggles, thyroid condition, lupus, multiple sclerosis—while significantly lowering your risk of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer."
All right, did you get all that? If you're a "kind mama," you won't get that silly ol' actually very serious psychological condition known as postpartum depression, if you use a tampon then you're going to be infertile, if you vaccinate your child against common diseases then you're basically poisoning him, and if you just read this book, you might not get cancer. Is that not the most ignorant nonsense you've ever read? Doesn't it make you want to watch "Clueless" and weep for what has become of Alicia?
Lots of feelings, guys. Lots and lots of feelings.