Nope, Still Not Making Sense
6/26/2014 6:00 AM PDT, by Sarah Taylor
Two things are utterly undeniable: Selena Gomez is pretty hot, and Selena Gomez is also going through something terribly unsettling and pretty embarrassing, too.
The above picture is Gomez's latest selfie, and while the pic is pretty cute, the caption ... well, I don't speak bat-ish, so maybe a translator can step on up to the podium and tell us exactly what she's trying to convey with her words. Here goes nothing:
Fabulously/intensely dealing with sinus problems. Clearly. #blamethe70sflarepants
So, wait. What? Come again? Sinus problems, that seems to be the subject of the sentence. But how is it fabulous? Unless she's being sarcastic, maybe all those sinus problems are affecting her thinking.
While the "intense" part makes a bit of sense, because anyone who's ever had a sinus issue of any degree can attest that it sucks, so yeah -- but why "clearly"? Are we supposed to think that Selena is "clearly" suffering sinus issues because she's, what, got sunglasses on? Because her lips are all swollen and bee-stung-looking? Because she's, I don't know, showing her stomach?
Last, but certainly not least, "blame the 70s flare pants." 70s flare pants that we cannot even see, let alone comprehend what that's supposed to mean. Did Selena's 70s flare pants give her sinus trouble? Because if they did, she needs to let those of us who suffer allergies as it is know ASAP so we can avoid those particular pants at all costs.
Just be careful, girl -- there's a boy running around with the moniker "Justin Bieber," whose alias is "Downward Spiral," and guess what: he's got your name written all over his back with the rest of his weird tattoos.