James Franco is Officially Too Awful to Handle

7/7/2014 2:00 PM PDT, by
You're never in a million years going to be able to understand and accept how awful this is, but we need to try to process this anyway: James Franco wrote a collection of poems, some of them are about celebrities, and it's the worst thing that ever happened. See, it's an example of James Franco doing that thing where he thinks he's this big prolific artist who can do absolutely anything creative even though he absolutely cannot. Like here is this poem he wrote about Heath Ledger. It's called "Ledger":

There had been a time 
When we were up for the same roles, 
10 Things I Hate about You 
(Based on The Taming of the Shrew), 
And The Patriot – 
Funny, you were Australian and so was Mel – 
You were the knight in A Knight's Tale...

Guys ... that's not poetry. That is a series of facts. And this next little bit he wrote in a poem from the point of view of Lindsay Lohan, it's not even a fact, it's just ridiculous:

Fame raped me.
And I raped it, if you know what I'm saying

Why? Why is he doing this? What did the world do to deserve to be subjected to such awfulness? Why does James Franco want us to hurt? Why?!
Filed Under:  James Franco , poetry
blog comments powered by Disqus