Farrah Abraham is Grasping at Straws (and Everything Else, Too)

7/9/2014 8:15 AM PDT, by Sarah Taylor
0709_fish_farrah
Y'all, who even knows what Farrah Abraham is doing lately, besides everything. She's got her sex toy line, her sex book, her Christian parenting book sandwiched in there somewhere, and now she's opening a restaurant in Austin, Texas that ... well, all of the advertising that I've seen so far looks pretty creepy. Go figure.

Watch this video, let Farrah tell you all about her new business endeavor, do your favorite Farrah thing with your eyes, and then be appropriately horrified by the ad pic that follows: 



Get ready, because here it comes whether you like it or not:
Frightening, right? Here's Froco's actual website, and check out how scary the "history" of the company is (note the typos and general fear emanating from the HTML) and how eerily similar it sounds to the way Farrah herself speaks:

The founder of Froco, was set to open a restaurant concept when the now first location and property of Froco was available. Instead of going with the first planned restaurant concept the founder had a better feeling about Froco. There was a lot to be completed with an unplanned great concept, so the founder of Froco thought about the possibilities to buy into another franchise of the similar sort but then realizing after being excepted to the other growing franchises of the similar sort that their values, their brands weren’t as great as what the founder could live up too [sic]. So with passion and positivity the founder wanted feedback on her Froco idea. After asking others in salons, playgrounds, stores, and just everywhere the founder was set on Froco and the mascot being Coba the popping boba! ...

The founder felt strongly compelled to include Greek yogurt in to as many of the food products at Froco as possible which are found in certain flavors of frozen yogurt and all the freshly made to go food items. The founder after moving to Texas at the age of 22 right before the creation of Froco was told by her doctor to better her health with plain Greek yogurt. Being the foodie that the founder is, the founder put Greek yogurt in everything – sandwiches, pastas, salads, wraps, sushi, desserts and the founder was happy to taste better enhancement of flavors with the Greek yogurt in all the food options. The founder found the balance of taste, health, and quality and wanted to bring this to everyone’s lifestyle all year round. ... 

The founder Farrah Abraham is recognized nationally for her success in entertainment as well being a wonderful mother to her daughter Sophia who at age 5 has helped every step of the way in creating a lovable, positive, passionate and educational mascot for Froco, “Coba” The popping boba, who you may put on your frozen yogurt and feel a pop of passion and positivity every time you visit Froco. 

Well. This isn't going to be a damn hot mess, now, is it?
blog comments powered by Disqus