Sorry, LeAnn Rimes, But No
8/6/2014 7:00 AM PDT, by Emily Trainham
LeAnn Rimes, everybody: she's not content with just being thrust into our lives as a singer, and goodness knows that her awful new reality show isn't enough for her. No, she has to do whatever she can to never, ever leave the public eye -- to make people talk about her -- basically at any cost. She has to do everything in her power to be the most annoying celebrity who ever lived (well; one of them, anyway). And that's why, heaven help us, she wants to start a bikini line.
On starting the line:
"I’ve been researching that a little bit more as we speak. I mean, I’ve worn so many bikinis that I know what works and what doesn’t. I know what I like and I know what’s missing in the marketplace. We shall see! I hope that it comes to fruition ... I’m an earthly girl. I love very natural colors-- nudes and golds. Beautiful, feminine and classy."
And of course, she has so many bikinis:
"The other day, I said I had 80 pairs of shoes and Eddie was like, “No way. You have at least 140 pairs of shoes.” So, I started counting and I told him, “Babe, I stopped counting at 200.” So, that’s pretty much the same thing with bikinis. I’d like to say that I don’t have a ton, but I know I do."
Her outlook on bikinis:
"I think the biggest misconception about bikinis is that if you’re heavier, that you need to wear more coverage on your butt. It looks horrible on any woman. The skimpier the bottoms, the better your butt looks! If you look at pictures of women with bikinis that cover the whole butt, it just looks frumpy. Flaunt what you’ve got!"
Some bonus cattiness about Brandi Glanville and her reality show:
"No. We actually don’t speak, really. Eddie and her talk over email about the kids, but other than that -- no. She’s free to say anything she wants, and she does. So she’ll talk about it, eventually."
Oh, the wackiness just never stops with her, does it? She calls her bikinis "classy," she feels that she wears bikinis well (see above photo), and of course she just has to work in something about Eddie Cibrian. And that little bit about Brandi Glanville ... she's never going to stop, is she? She's never going to be anything other than obnoxious and ridiculous and weird. What are we ever going to do with her?