And Now Let the Duggars Teach Us of Life and Love and Weirdness

8/18/2014 2:30 PM PDT, by
Chances are that you have no idea how to conduct yourself without other people telling you what to do, and that's why it's just so thoughtful and kind that Michelle Duggar, Jim Bob Duggar, and the whole damn Duggar clan got together to tell you what you need to do when it comes to love.

For instance, maybe you thought that if you liked someone in a romantic way, you should kiss them. Not so, say the Duggars! And what were you even thinking about "dating" someone to begin with? Heathen! 

Don't worry, guys, this family spells out every last thing for you here. Like here's Michelle's advice on how to start dating:

"Dating with a purposeful mind-set is really such a contrast from what we are used to seeing in our world. Emotions get heated the closer you get. You're like two magnets being pulled together. You need boundaries. What is so great is to set boundaries together at the beginning of a relationship and tell others, so it sets up accountability."

But here's Josh to explain that you want to be courting, not dating:

"Dating means you're shopping around. A courtship is the path toward marriage."

And here's Jim Bob to explain that further:

"Courting is getting to know each other in a group setting, both families spending time together and the couple setting goals together to determine if they are meant to marry. With dating, a couple will often pair off alone and that sometimes leads to a more physical relationship."

Now here's Jill on how you should maybe not even kiss until marriage:

"We want to save the physical side of our relationship for our wedding day and not go further than we should. If you are kissing, it gets more intimate. Obviously, you can kiss and not have sex. It's about setting a higher standard so you don't struggle [with temptation]."

And maybe you could be more like Jill and ask a guy questions about his whole entire life for five straight hours on Skype:

"It was an interrogation. I didn't want to not have the guts to ask the tough questions."

And there you have it, every last thing you need to know about finding your soulmate. Goodness, what would we even do without the Duggars here to tell us how to live our lives? Nothing but perish, friends. Nothing but perish like the bunch of fools we are.
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