Just when you thought all of Jimmy Fallon's "Ew" hilarity was dying down, this ... and friends, this is likely the greatest late-night skit supercut you'll ever see.
It features the likes of Taylor Swift, Channing Tatum, Lindsay Lohan, and Michelle Obama -- just to name a few -- and is the best thing we've seen from Fallon all yer long (and that's saying a lot).
Consider this a moment, and squee with glee:
Paws -- and fins! -- up, mothers.
Oh the ridiculous things that sometimes come from the mouths of those celebrities you expect it the least from -- and that's where we are today with rock "legend" (he a legend yet? Can we say that?), Gavin Rossdale.
Rossdale did a "25 Things You Don't Know About Me" thing, and some of the things ... well, we would have been better off not knowing, because then we wouldn't have headaches from rolling our eyes, would we?
Here are two that topped our list:
"My revenge is cold and slow."
"I never get scared on airplanes."
The rest is pretty mundane ("I'm allergic to cats," "I never forget a face") but that bit about "My revenge is cold and slow"? Oh, please, LOL. Imagine the wrath of Gavin Rossdale, who never gets scared on airplanes. Terrifying.
HE WILL REMEMBER YOUR FACE.
“I actually have a friend with benefits! ... I still feel like I’m 28. I do anything and everything to stay active because, let’s face it, I am not slowing down anytime soon! It’s foolish to think that older people don’t enjoy sex. It’s a big myth. There is no age limit on the enjoyment of sex. It keeps getting better. You learn to do things with more experience, intelligence and the ability to choose more wisely.”
--Carol Brady of "The Brady Bunch" -- or, as she's known these days "Florence Henderson" -- on having sex and relations at 80 years old, but that's not even what we want to talk about.
No, what we're here to talk about is how freaking fantastic this woman -- who will be 81 years old next month -- looks. How is this even possible? How does she do the things that she does?
There's only one possibility, we're afraid ... she's gotta be some kind of alien. There's no other way to process this.
Looking good, Mrs. Brady!
Want a healthy vagina? Don't listen to Gwyneth Paltrow ... but because you have a brain, you probably already knew that.
Doctor Jen Gunter got wind of Gwyneth's "V-Steam" douche article that went rabid yesterday, and had a bit to say about vaginas, heated water, and the simple-mindedness of Gwyn,
Here are a few choice excerpts from her blog, because science:
We don’t know the effect of steam on the lower reproductive tract, but the lactobacilli strains that keep vaginas healthy are very finicky about their environment and raising the temperature with steam and whatever infrared nonsense Paltrow means is likely not beneficial and is potentially harmful.
Ms. Paltrow and the people who push V-steams also need a little anatomy lesson because unless that steam is under high pressure (like with ejaculation) it’s not getting from the vagina into the uterus. Air (whether hot of cold) does not magically wander from the vagina into the uterus. Heck, even water in the vagina doesn’t get sucked up by the uterus.
I’m not sure what our gal GP thinks balancing hormones actually is (because it means nothing medical), but I am confident when I say that steaming your vagina with wormwood or mugwort will not do anything to hormones because these plants are not hormones.
Steam is probably not good for your vagina. Herbal steam is no better and quite possibly worse. It is most definitely more expensive.
Steam isn’t going to get into your uterus from your vagina unless you are using an attachment with some kind of pressure and MOST DEFINITELY NEVER EVER DO THAT.
Mugwort or wormwood or whatever when steamed, either vaginally or on the vulva, can’t possibly balance any reproductive hormones, regulate your menstrual cycle, treat depression, or cure infertility. Even steamed estrogen couldn’t do that.
There you have it. Real talk from a real expert.
Can we start referring to Gwyneth as "Steam Douche" now? It just sounds more appropriate than Gwyn, and a lot more complementary to "GOOP."
You know, there is just one thing Farrah Abraham can't get right, and it goes by the name of "everything."
Yup, you read that correctly -- while some people can do no wrong, we feel that Farrah can do no right. None. Nada. She can't even have an extra white thong on hand or -- at least! -- even have the foresight to say, "Whoops, white pants plus white boy short panties equals what the hell," so this fashion faux pas just continues to prove our theory: Farrah Abraham is a clueless twit, the end.
Verdict: Leave it. For real, forever.
"I’m really pissed about this whole @KendallJenner and @ScottDisick thing!! Scott, I thought it was you and I that was having the affair! Scott is such a THOT! These hoes really ain’t loyal!! Huh?!?! Damn Gina!!! Damn!!!”'
--Khloe Kardashian about her "fake" (?) affair (?) with Scott Disick, pretending that Kendall Jenner is somehow horning in on the whole thing and having the lurid dalliance instead.
The joke's old, guys. Nobody cares. It's even gotten to the point where if Khloe and Scott (or even Kendall and Scott, for that matter) were having an affair, nobody'd even bat a fake eyelash.
Get better material, OK, girl? Or at least give this bit a rest and let it marinate for awhile longer. It might be funny again in, oh, dunno, another 5 or 6 years.
Well, this is new -- Chelsea Handler is bringing religion into her toplessness, and this time she isn't even really topless (and as a side note, if Instagram pulls this picture down and leaves all the Miley Cyrus pasties up and all that pubic hair business, there's something seriously wrong ... er with society).
Chels shared this rather intimate photo with the caption, "A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And, You don't even have to be topless. L'chaim."
So, OK. She makes a solid sentiment. And she is Jewish, so there shouldn't be any backlash for what she's wearing on her mammaries, right?
You've gotta give it to the girl -- she really knows how to handlerself.