"About 80 people [at our wedding]. Small wedding. I hate celebrities. ... No celebrities will be there."
--Jenny McCarthy's insufferable pompousness now that she's actually getting married, and apparently not realizing that she, herself, is nothing but a "celebrity," too. Surprise!
Jenny had a plethora of classless things to say during a recent interview with Howard Stern, and while that's not too surprising -- considering her history of bawdy filterlessness -- the bit about hating celebrities was the icing on the cake.
You guys have to listen to this audio -- Jenny sounds ... well, she just sounds really full of crap, guys, sorry to say. Jenny sounds like she's just full to the brim with BS that's about to hit overflow levels, and the part where she snidely quips "I hate celebrities," well ... rumor has it that fiancé Donnie Wahlberg's brother Mark Wahlberg "hates" celebrities, too, but only celebrities by the name of Jenny McCarthy, and now? Well, now maybe we know why.
"Celebrity is so not part of my life. If I'm walking around and somebody comes up with a camera, it terrifies me. I can imagine that if you are Johnny Depp, for years you've had such a level of fame that you are somewhat accustomed to it and you expect it when you go out. ... I've managed to avoid it to the extent where I sometimes get trapped in situations that I don't know how to deal with. I feel overwhelmed. But I'd rather be overwhelmed in these moments and enjoy my life privately. I've been able to have the life I want. Compared to other people in the business I do live a normal life. I can't get off set and away from it fast enough. I leave and I don't talk to anybody in the business at all for a couple of weeks. I hate the beach. I don't like travelling. I'm not being evasive. I just don't like the things that most people would like."
--Joaquin Phoenix on his life outside of film, and man -- how completely perfect is this guy? Yeah, he could stand a good hair-washing, and maybe some new clothes to boot, but Joaquin sure has his priorities right and his head on straight, and no amount of cleanliness or style could ever eclipse that kind of beauty.
That's all. The end.
“... I don’t think I had a care in the world at 25 ... That all started in my 30s, my awkward phase. I’m a little bit of a late bloomer! But it doesn’t matter to me because it just gets better. They do say youth is wasted on the young, but I feel just as youthful now — if not more — than I did when I was 25. I’m more in my body; I’m more in my mind. Life is full. Life is wonderful. We’re very, very fortunate.”
--Jennifer Aniston on what her life was like in her 20s, her 30s, and now, in her 40s, and if this little snippet doesn't make you love her kind of just a little bit, then sorry -- you're just not being open-minded enough.
Yeah, Aniston is usually pretty good for coming across as the pitiful martyr, and clingy and sometimes pretty desperate, too, but something within her must be changing as she ages, because she's even becoming more likable as she gets older.
Get it, girl. We're in your corner (today).
"My attitude to money? On a 1980 TV series called 'Bosom Buddies' I made $5,000 a week. If I had made that kind of money for the rest of my life I would have been happy, honestly. But I have been getting ludicrous sums of money for quite some time. The best part is not owing money to anyone. Money, though, has never been my driving force. You can live in the biggest and best house in the world but it can be s--- if you are unhappy.''
--Tom Hanks -- better known to some people as Forrest Gump, though this girl right here vividly remembers being a small child while watching "Bosom Buddies" at her grandma's house back in the mid- to late-eighties, and even then thought he was an adorable, talented man -- on his massive fortune, estimated to be around $350m, give or take a few "ms."
Oh, and he's pretty wise, too -- this is another thing he said about violence in modern-day movies, and it especially should speak to the generation that glorifies games like the "Grand Theft Auto" (and its obvious mass popularity, just based on its recent record-breaking sales) and movies like "The Last House on the Left" and "Kick-Ass 2":
''We got into another era where it becomes the kind of glamorous it can be to fire guns and blow up buildings and stuff like that. And I understand that to a a degree, but even when I was young I wanted to see films that somehow reflected my world or the world as I understand it or an authentic take on how complicated we all are. While there's always room for a fabulous James Bond movie with a great action sequence in it, there is without doubt another type of film out there that is not that interested in it, there's no moralization that goes on, and I simply don't choose to see them."
See? Told you. Forrest "Forrest" Gump -- the voice of a (saner) generation.
Friends, have you ever heard Jennifer Aniston say a whole bunch of really insightful, thought-provoking things that weren't totally annoying and martyr-ish all in one interview? Because prepare yourselves, it just might have happened.
In a recent interview, Jennifer discussed what type of advice she'd give herself in retrospect over the last few decades, and it's all actually sweet, smart stuff -- the kind of stuff you'd normally get from Gwyneth Paltrow, just without all of the pretension and judgement. Here's a few choice quotes -- Jennifer's advice to her 30-something self from her current self:
"Go to therapy. Clean up all of the s---. Clean up all of the toxins and the noise. Understand who you are. Educate yourself on the self."
Jennifer's advice to 20-something Jennifer from today's Jennifer:
"Not to fret so much. ... Don’t try so hard. Pay attention. Do your homework. Go to class."
And finally, some general good advice that can apply to really anyone:
"You can undo a lot of things. If you’re not happy, you can become happy. Happiness is a choice. ... That’s the thing I really feel. Like with friends who refuse to get happy, who refuse to rise above the discomfort of where they’re at."
Everything was all good up to that point, but then, in custom Jennifer fashion, she went and got mad awkward at the end, and said that strip clubs are "disgusting," and how strippers are "bored":
"Not a lot of strippers want to be stripping, you know. I think strip clubs are disgusting. I’ve just never been able to wrap my head around it. Guys are going in there to basically become aroused by another woman? And somehow that’s OK? ... Though I’m gonna insult a whole group of women if I say stripping is disgusting. I also think it’s not very hygienic in there. I mean, my Lord. ... Strippers just look bored to me. They’re just acting."
Oh Jennifer. Almost had it this time, didn't you?
Hey, you know what really happens to be a super idea? Spending almost a whole thousand dollars on a "great gift or a fun conversation piece for your home bar." What kind of "conversation piece" would a grand buy you? Well, heck. A shot glass, guys. A shot glass. A very necessary part of any home bar, especially if you have wealth like Gwyneth Paltrow does, because she's the one selling the damn thing on GOOP.
And if you don't have GP-type wealth? Well. Then you're probably just stuck with the bougie version for a fraction of the cost at Ikea or Anthropologie or somewhere else, because if you can't throw down a thousand bucks for a pretentious way to drink your marriage sorrows away, then what good are you anyway?