7/31/2015 8:00 AM PDT
Here's Kim Zolciak, and here's Kim Zolciak's waist. Or rather, the near absence of Kim Zolciak's waist, because she's on the road to cinching it so hard that it's beginning to disappear into itself.
Hey. It's her body, and it's her business, right? It's only going to affect us if the madness begins to trickle down and spread throughout the masses, inciting riots of women and men contorting their bodies into impossible proportions.
The end is near -- here come the Modified Humans. Well played, Cassandra.
7/31/2015 6:00 AM PDT
Caitlyn Jenner is still adorable, in case you happened to be checking in after not hearing or seeing anything about her for the last few days, but this time, she's pretty endearing, too.
In a recent clip for "I Am Cait," Jenner practices her best "feminine" voice with Kim Kardashian and Malika Haqq. Needless to say, it was like she wasn't even trying ... because it didn't sound any different than her natural voice.
Girl, even some of us who were born female still have pretty deep voices ... ahem ... and yours isn't all that masculine anyway. We're in your corner -- don't worry so much, OK? You're perfect -- don't sweat it too much.
7/31/2015 5:00 AM PDT
Because every 17-year-old girl should be so concerned with the condition of her boobs and buns, we have Kylie Jenner endorsing boob and ass cream that she's trying to pass off as the key to her curves.
Do you see that up there? Kylie is actually trying to peddle a lotion that's supposed to "accentuate your curves." The funny thing is, "accentuate" would imply that you're maintaining something that you already have, naturally ... and if that's the case, what would the need be for something like this, which sounds questionable at best?
Unfortunately, what crap, and also, what a disappointing mess. Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned normalcy and truth?
7/30/2015 10:00 AM PDT
You know, we don't know why ol' Farrah Abraham is featured on the site so much here, but we suspect it's got something to do with sometimes just needing an outlet to moan and groan and complain and wonder about the state of things. That's really it, to be honest. It's not like Farrah's this up-and-coming star (unless you meant in this way), and it's not like she's got something that we desperately want, or are jealous of.
Nope, it's because she's the perfect scapegoat to pin all of our shameless celebrity angst upon, and hey ... everybody's gotta be a cog somewhere in the great machine that is Hollywood. It's just that Farrah happens to be somewhere near the filthy exhaust pipe, that's all.
7/30/2015 6:30 AM PDT
For whatever reason -- money, and movies, probably -- Woody Allen is allowed to keep on giving interviews, and while that's fairly understandable, considering his expansive cinematic history, he should absolutely not be allowed to normalize the relationship he has with the wife who was the adopted daughter of his ex-girlfriend.
In a new interview, Allen talks about his career, and blah blah blah artsy movies and affluent actors, but when everybody got sick of hearing about his movies, the topic train slowly chugged off to Soon-Yi Previn ... his wife.
About their relationship, Allen says, "I've been married now for 20 years and it's been good. I think that was probably the odd factor that I'm so much older than the girl I married. I'm 35 years older, and somehow, through no fault of mine or hers, the dynamic worked. I was paternal. She responded to someone paternal. I liked her youth and energy. She deferred to me, and I was happy to give her an enormous amount of decision making just as a gift and let her take charge of so many things. She flourished. It was just a good luck thing. ... I thought [the public's critcism about the relationship] was ridiculous."
Why, yes, of course she responded to "someone paternal," considering her adoptive mother's boyfriend was constantly in the picture. Who else would you look to as a paternal figure besides the, you know, only paternal figure in your life?
Allen continued in the interview saying that he didn't think the relationship would amount to anything more than a "fling" ... which, to us, indicates a level of sexual deviance that wasn't well-masked as "true love." Woody said, "It wouldn't be serious."
Woody Allen is a crazy interesting guy -- you just need to read the rest of this interview to recognize that, even if you never did before -- and while we've made leaps and bounds in accepting the abnormal in some of those societal "scofflaws," this probably still isn't OK for the majority of the people involved.
Just ask Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau. It probably never gets much easier.
7/30/2015 5:30 AM PDT
"Rob lives with me now and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love having him with me. ... He's going through a hard time now and it's behind gates. With this crazy lifestyle you have to think of places where you can still have your freedom. ... I have everything, my brother's there and I love him. I get crazy if he's like, 'I'm moving out'. ... I do baby him but I'm a maternal person. ... When all your friends want to go to dinner, my brother and I are like, 'No' because we just get too much anxiety. I don’t mind having people over, but it's weird how much more withdrawn I've become than being social in public places, I guess."
--Khloe Kardashian in her "uncut" Complex interview, and we gotta say: it's a breath of fresh air hearing her talk about the semi-reclusive Rob Kardashian like this, unlike some of his other -- ahem -- sisters who'd just as soon throw him under the bus than take him in and care about him while helping care for him.
On a side note, Khloe refers to Kim Kardashian's ex-husband Kris Humphries as "the Humps," which is hilarious and also demeaning at the same time, and what she said about him in the interview is also hilarious ... and demeaning:
"Kim is so at peace with herself [these days]. ... I don't know if she's going to get mad, but I saw her at the Humps' wedding and she was crazy and then I saw her at her wedding to Kanye, who I always said should be her husband, and she was so calm."
There you have it, folks. If you've ever wondered what it was like inside the head of a Kardashian, this interview just about sums it up for you.
7/30/2015 4:00 AM PDT
Courtney Stodden's transformation into Marilyn Monroe is nearly complete ... but she's starting to develop one thing Marilyn never did: huge, majorly gigantic, super-sized breasts that only seem to be getting bigger and bigger as the days go by. I mean, check out this photo -- Courtney's a gorgeous little thing, but you can hardly notice all that gorgeous because the photo's simply swamped with teat.
Court shared the above pic on her IG page, but deleted it shortly afterward. Suspicious? Perhaps. Disappointing? Well. Not when you know that the internet just doesn't forget.
Check out Courtney's mammary maturation in the gallery below and let us know what you prefer. Get some!