... In semi-slow motion, nonetheless. There are other folks in the commercial for "Beats by Dre," but we can barely concentrate on any of that because seriously: it's Kendall and Kylie Jenner hopping around in bra tops and posing for the camera. Poor, poor marketing if you ask us ... at least K & K could have been featured at the end of the video so people actually made it through the majority of it before restarting it.
"Yes [I have done things with a Kardashian sister]. And I always get in trouble when I talk about this but I always tell the truth so ... The ones that are of age."
--Nick Cannon during a recent radio interview about hooking up with who he refers to as the "OG Kardashian," Kim, but that bit about "the ones that are of age"? For real, Nick? If that's true, for one, ick on you ... how are you gonna try to cultivate successful hookups with three sisters, you pig, but second, if it's not what you're insinuating (though it sounds like exactly that)? That could be even ruder -- is there no shame anywhere anymore?
Nick Cannon -- what a man, y'all.
Jennifer Aniston really is taking this war against Kim Kardashian's ass kind of seriously -- first slamming her Paper Magazine cover saying that she did it first (and better (?), and now she's taking it to Ellen Degeneres, where she sports enormous, awkward boobs and ... well, you'll just have to watch the video to see what she says about Kim's backside.
We've got to say -- though we honestly do like Kim's cover more, we're starting to appreciate Aniston's sass more and more as the jokes go by.
Shots fired, Jen -- your move, Kim K!
In a ridiculous twist of irony, one of Eminem's new singles off of Shady XV is called "Guts Over Fear" has a brand-new video, and the song -- which was released back in August -- has lyrics directly contradicting those of "Vegas," wherein he rapped about forcible sex with Iggy Azalea.
The new song says, "It just breaks my heart to look at all the pain I've caused, the pain spawns the anger on, but it wasn't until I put the pain in the song, learned who to aim it on that I made a spark, started to spit hard as s--t, learned how to harness it while the reins were off, but the crazy part was as soon as I stopped saying I gave a f--k haters started to appreciate my art."
So, flash foward ... Iggy's pain, what, doesn't matter? Punching Lana Del Rey in the face is an OK thing as long as it's done in a song? Or does Em think that those he "spits" against are deserving of such slamming that he's just become omnipotently selective as to who he aims them toward?
Pathetic, Eminem, seriously. Nobody's going to appreciate your art if this misogynistic verbal violence against women continues, and that'd be a sad thing, because you are genuinely talented.
"[Hugh] asked me to be one of his girlfriends and I was like, 'I don’t know what that means, but hell yeah I’m there'. He asked me to be part of the Playboy Mansion and I accepted, of course. I went by straight away but I didn't know that sex was involved. He'd ask if you wanted to go upstairs, and that was that. I was 18 and he was 78. ... You’re not obligated [to have sex], it’s your choice. He really looks at the women in his house as relationships. ... They all sleep with him -- but they're also the greatest people."
--Kendra Wilkinson on -- gasp! -- actual fornication with the now-88-year-old Hugh Hefner, and goodness gracious ... this is entirely more than we ever needed to know. I mean, we all suspected, of course, but the idea was nearly so impossible to behold that many of us just blocked out the notion altogether.
Way to distract from your cheating husband, though, Kendra. Dirty pool (no, really), old girl.
Kylie Jenner's lips aren't the only thing looking robust and "mature" these days, huh? While the girl is undoubtedly beautiful, it's apparent we have to resign ourselves to the fact that most young women in Hollywood -- at this age -- are going to be parading around looking ten years older than they really are. Just look at Miley's little 14-year-old sister. Sad case within a just as sad point of many.
Verdict: We'd love it if it weren't on someone who's not really even old enough for college yet, but ... ahem. On a positive note, those hair extensions. They are some quality hair extensions, y'all, and they look great.
"At this point, I honestly feel we should just wait. I say we just wait until we're really much older and be just Golden Friends. Then you won't have the comparisons, the 'Oh, look at Joey! What happened to them?' ... [Or we could make a] 'Dead Friends,' [and] then we'll know there's no reunion to have."
--Jennifer Aniston -- AKA Rachel Green -- on the far-flung, far-off possibility of an actual "Friends" reunion, and wouldn't that be something? "Golden Friends," though. Guys are gonna have to come up with a catchier name than that if they want to sound not lame. And especially not "Dead Friends," because that just doesn't sound like something that's going to happen at all, ever, right?
Come on, Jen -- give us a little something more to work with. The idea of having the 'friends' reunite at a semi-elderly age is a good one, but man ... can't it just be now already?