4/23/2014 9:00 AM PDT
Robert DeNiro -- and French unofficial "Vine king" Jerome Jarre, who is just hot beyond all comprehension -- filmed a Vine, titling it "Robert DeNiro's First 6-Second Film," and the simple, uncontrived hilarity that ensues is priceless. It's no wonder that Robert is one of the world's most revered actors, and this Jerome character? Can we please see some more of him? Huh?
4/23/2014 7:00 AM PDT
"I'm so scared we won’t grow old together. That's my biggest fear."
--A thing actually said by Tori Spelling -- a thing that really, truly came out of her mouth -- about her biggest fear concerning cheating scuzball husband, Dean McDermott, after all that he's put her through, and this is pathetic.
One thing is certain: girlfriend needs to get her priorities straight, because all this embarrassing business? This ... this waxing poetic about a man who freely admits to disliking wife sex -- sounds like it's about to get even more embarrassing, if that's at all possible.
See, Tori has children -- like, a whole passel of them. And all of this sad drama is being recorded for her reality show, "True Tori," which means that this business is being forever immortalized as the most feeble, woeful time of Tori's life. Despite even that, all Tori can outwardly worry about is not growing old with the person who feels compelled to stick his penis in the vaginas of women who aren't his wife.
Tori is deserving of a lot -- sympathy, pity, compassion -- but one thing she doesn't deserve is to be emotionally manipulated by a man who's barely even capable of telling a truth, let alone the truth.
If you're not going to do it for yourself, Tori, then at least cut off all of the dramatic BS for the sake of your children. There comes time in a person's life when they have to do what's right for the greater good, and this sure seems like it, if never before or ever again.
4/23/2014 4:30 AM PDT
God, I can't believe that this is even a thing we need to discuss -- but apparently it is, because poor Iggy Azalea claims that she's been ... well, 'internally examined' on several concert occasions, and if that doesn't scream "un-right," then maybe you're one of the ones who think it's OK to stick your hands in places where they most definitely do not belong.
This is Iggy -- in an interview -- when asked why she doesn't crowd-surf at her shows anymore:
"... I will get lurk tweets for like a week before my show, like, 'I'm about to go to the Iggy Azalea show and I'm going to finger her', and I'll see it and be like, 'Please don't! That's a violation. I don't actually like that stuff'. They think I'm really slutty like, 'She's got a song called Pu$$y, I know what she wants'.
... Girls will try to do it more than guys because they think it's cool, like, 'We've both got vaginas, it's fine'. Doesn't make it OK. Buying my album for $12 doesn't mean you get to finger me when I come to your city. ... I wear, no lie, two pairs of underpants and then a pair of skin-colored tights and then my pants as like a protection barrier, because there's just no way I'm going to be intruded."
Seriously? This is a thing that people do at concerts? Because if so, then that says a lot about the state of the world -- and it sucks. How about this: for whatever reason needed -- whether it be ethical, legal, or whatever else -- let's keep our grubby little hands to ourselves unless we're invited to do otherwise. OK? How about that. Let's make an honest effort here. I know it might be hard, but it's worth it.
4/23/2014 3:30 AM PDT
This is Rumer Willis -- or a daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, in case you couldn't tell that by the photo -- and this is what she wore to the Elle Women in Music concert last night in Los Angeles.
As you can see, the dress has a variety of cut-outs, the main one in question showcasing some bright pink underwear (that is underwear, right, and not some kind of chewing gum-colored vulva pasties?), and ... well, the look isn't great. Girl's got the body for it, but dang -- is there no modesty left anywhere in 2014, or is Taylor Swift hoarding all of it?
Verdict: Love it, I guess. The dress itself is pretty terrible on its own, and ahahhaahha I laugh so hard when I envision myself wearing it, but it does show off some of Rumer's best physical features -- which was the intent, one might suppose -- so there is still that.
4/22/2014 9:00 AM PDT
If this isn't the most embarrassing thing you've seen all morning, then you haven't been looking very hard at all. As a matter of fact, you can stop looking altogether, because this video of Gisele Bundchen singing Blondie's "Heart of Glass" -- so, so poorly, I might add -- only adds embarrassment to insult, if that's even possible.
Way to go, H&M. If you didn't already alienate half of your potential customer base by catering almost solely to those above the height of 5'9", then you sure did by allowing her to sing for you, hell's bells.
All I know is that if I happen to wander (and by "wander," I mean "intentionally make plans to go and shop at H&M very soon because cute, inexpensive clothes and accessories"), so help me God if I hear this song while trying to squeeze my arse into one of their skirts. You want to talk about not being able to deal with visceral reality? Can't. even.
4/22/2014 7:00 AM PDT
Jenny McCarthy is a beautiful woman, and we're not going to go into the personal reasons here as to why we just don't care all that much for her. No, this post is to celebrate Jenny's courage or whatever it was in deciding to post a selfie while wearing zero makeup, and leave it at that.
Way to go, Jenny -- you remind us a lot of ourselves, minus all of the backtracking. Also, you kinda look like Reese Witherspoon, and that just can't be bad, right?
4/22/2014 6:00 AM PDT
Are there many things more endearing than "NBC Nightly News" anchor Brian Williams -- who is handsome and smart and admirable -- "rapping" Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice," courtesy of Jimmy Fallon? Because here's a spoiler: no, of course there aren't. Unless you happen to be looking for a basket of newborn puppies that's lined with rainbow unicorn hair and petals from the Kadupul flower, then no -- this is basically adorable at its apex, despite the singing about rubbers and hos.
Williams has become a household heartthrob and didn't even realize it. Le sigh!