Guys, guys, look, the intensely amazing Olivia Wilde had her baby! You can tell because she posted that heartwarming, just super precious photo of the new little baby boy, and she gave the best birth announcement of all time:
Otis Alexander, couldn't you just die? And that picture, doesn't it make you smile from the very depths of your soul? There are just piles and piles of cuteness all around here today, friends. Soak it in. And then look at that picture of Olivia and little Otis one more time, because awwww!
Ladies and gentlemen, Otis Alexander Sudeikis has LEFT the building! (I'm the building) pic.twitter.com/uHfY3adroc— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) April 23, 2014
Roseanne, y'all ... where do we start with such a legend? Because that's what she is -- she did the greatest sitcom of all time, she's one of the strongest, most inspirational women the world's ever seen, and now, finally, with brand new photos like this one right here, everyone's finally starting to acknowledge the fact that she's also gorgeous. Basically, it's a great time to be Roseanne, and it's also a great time to be in the presence of Roseanne. Get excited, everybody. We're pretty much blessed.
She posted that killer photo last night, and really, we just have to bow down to her greatness at this point. This woman is 61 years old, and damn, is she stunning. Yes, friends, in this lifetime we can only hope to achieve even the tiniest fraction of Roseanne's overall greatness, a microscopic sliver of her magnificent beauty. Oh, and did we mention just how lovely she is?
LeAnn Rimes, right at this moment in time, is out in the deserts of Arizona, celebrating her anniversary with gross douchemonster Eddie Cibrian and forcing someone to take pictures of her -- we know this because even when she goes on a vacation, she can't help but share every detail on Twitter. And even though that little detail is dumb enough, LeAnn is also, as you can see, taking photos of herself lying in the middle of the road. Literally just hanging out, right in the middle of the road. Because why worry about personal safety or cleanliness or any of that when you can get just the coolest photo?
Guess LeAnn is really deep out there in that desert, because she sure looks THIRSTY.
This is Tara Reid's latest look, guys, and if it doesn't appear that "Sharkado 2: The Second One" is running girlfriend down, then maybe it's actually girlfriend who's running girlfriend down, because dang -- somebody looks tired and worn out.
We love us some "Sharknado," Tara, but not at the risk of your health and well-being. Make sure you're taking good care of yourself, OK, hon?
Sorry for all the early-morning scares, guys -- that racist Avril Lavigne video was pretty rank, and now this "Human Barbie" moving diorama of plastic surgery and vanity ... it's almost too much to bear on the day before Friday.
This is Valeria Lukyanova -- the self-proclaimed "Human Barbie," though some people think she's maybe a weird alien instead -- and she's got a YouTube channel. The channel houses a variety of videos, lovingly categorized under "Barbie Style," and they're all pretty horrific. This particular video -- Valeria at the beach -- is her most recent, and by far her scariest.
Is this how we become famous nowadays, guys? Is this the kind of thing we have to do in order to gain an iota of notoriety -- morph our bodies and our faces into such horrific caricatures of unrealistic expectations and parade it around like it's some new Louboutin prototype?
It's getting sad, guys -- and the only thing perhaps sadder than what dear Valeria is doing here are the people who think she's a role model to emulate. Don't scoff -- you just know there have to be some out there who do.
Come closer, friends -- this brand-new (racist!) Avril Lavigne video has it all: Asian fetishization, accent-mocking, Japanese clones, and really, really, really terrible music and dance moves. Oh, and that's not even including the fact that the damn song is called "Hello Kitty," because who even needs to be original to name songs any longer? Gosh.
The funny thing is, though, that Avril doesn't see any wrong with this thing at all. In fact, she went and defended it, saying that she totally loves Japanese culture, so that makes it all OK:
RACIST??? LOLOLOL!!! I love Japanese culture and I spend half of my time in Japan. I flew to Tokyo to shoot this video…— Avril Lavigne (@AvrilLavigne) April 24, 2014
Oh, Avril. We questioned your decision-making skills when you put "Sk8er Boi" out, and then for the thousandth time after you married Chad Kroeger. It's really not all that surprising that you'd think this kind of (awful) thing is all right, but knowing that doesn't lessen the sting any amount, either.
…specifically for my Japanese fans, WITH my Japanese label, Japanese choreographers AND a Japanese director IN Japan.— Avril Lavigne (@AvrilLavigne) April 24, 2014
To break it down: when you make a whole production parodying a certain culture, some sensitive, intelligent people might go ahead and take offense to it ... but we don't expect that you'd know much about sensitivity or intelligence, Avril, sorry.
Here's to never growing up.
If you were looking for solid proof that Demi Lovato should dump almost every non-essential thing in her life -- like Wilmer Valderrama, and in this case, any and all makeup -- then this photo should push you right over the edge into indignant. Demi Lovato looks totally amazing without a single shred of makeup, and you know what? Any prior or future attempts at covering up what we already know to exist is only going to cheapen Demi's look, and let it be said: when you're possibly dating-or-not dating Fez (but definitely kissing his ass), who wants to look even cheaper?
Looking amazing, darling.