2/10/2016 6:00 PM PST
We were expecting awkward white girl dancing. And we kind of got that ... but only because she's shy.
First of all, Jimmy Fallon repeats himself in his haste to reinforce the idea that he didn't have a big Superbowl party this year. Because Katie Holmes wasn't invited, but she'd been to one years ago.
So of course we have to conclude that Jimmy Fallon had ...
2/10/2016 12:00 PM PST
You'll never guess what happened, except you probably will because this is super typical: Raven-Symone said something dumb on "The View" and everyone is mad at her for it. It's always fun when one of those ladies lets her ignorance slip out, but this time is especially interesting because Raven's comments were about Beyonce. And you guys know everybody's feeling some feelings about Beyonce this week.
Here, check out the video, but only if your blood pressure can take it ...
2/10/2016 9:00 AM PST
... Except for Wendy Williams, because she apparently has no idea what she's talking about. And from a woman who normally passes some pretty unafraid judgements on anything, she sure is playing terribly dumb when it comes to talking about Beyonce's repugnant, hate-inciting performance, complete with Black Panther-inspired outfits and anti-law enforcement agendas.
You're smarter than at least that, Wendy Williams. What, you afraid the "Illuminati" is going to come after you, too, if you speak your mind? Girl, please.
You're a coward, Wendy. And you damn well know better than this ... and it's been proven time and time again -- weren't you the one who said, "You know Beyonce can't talk. Beyonce sounds like she has a 5th grade education. She can't talk. Honestly. We really do have the closed captioning for times like that."
Nothing like flip-flopping when it suits your own agenda.
The ridiculousness starts at the 13:00 mark, if you can get through it all:
2/9/2016 1:00 PM PST
Hey, do you think it would be physically possible to roll your eyes so hard that they'd pop out of your head and roll away, roll to a place where they'd be safe at long last? Probably not, but if we really want to test it, Stacey Dash sure could help us out. Do you get what we're saying here? Stacey Dash is terrible enough that even your eyes could realize it all by themselves. It's actually pretty impressive if you think about it.
Another thing that's impressive about Stacey? Her astonishing ability to say and do things without understanding how ridiculous she's being. If you need an example, look no further than the thoughts Stacey shared about Beyonce's performance at the Super Bowl halftime show ...
2/9/2016 7:30 AM PST
There are two kinds of people in this world: people that worship Beyonce and think she's a beautiful queen who is capable of no wrong, and people that realize how ridiculous she truly is. Because how weird is it that Beyonce is treated like the picture of class and grace and elegance when she has songs about her husband ejaculating on her -- not to mention this new song about taking his ass to Red Lobster "when he f--- me good"? That doesn't make her a bad person, obviously, but it's just annoying how she tends to behave like she's above everything when she's just as crass and thirsty as every other pop star.
But that's just a general rant about Beyonce. And now, we're going to go on a more specific rant about Beyonce. Not about her Super Bowl performance this time -- we've done that already -- but about this little interview she gave to ET about her performance. And trust us, she just made the whole thing so much worse ...
2/9/2016 7:00 AM PST
It's a damn good thing that Chris Martin's "consciously undone" or whatever Gwyneth Paltrow is "such good friends" with Beyonce, otherwise this interview would be mad uncomfortable.
In a brand-new -- and completely timely -- interview with Rolling Stone, Martin addresses working with the overblown Bey and her hive, and while what he says is pretty tame, it absolutely gives you insight into what it must have been like being strong-armed so hard in the epically terrible Super Bowl halftime show that Beyonce positively spat on.
Chris addressed a time they worked together in the past, and Knowles basically laughed off a song he presented to her:
2/8/2016 6:00 PM PST
This is one of those "what were they thinking?" moments.
Especially since it's been up for over 48 hours, now, and they've been dragged by everybody's comments. Either nobody's checking the mentions, or they just don't care.
Cosmopolitan's Twitter account tweeted this gif of Blue Ivy, who is adorable beyond reason, from her cameo ...