Let's be clear: Beyonce always, always looks amazing, no matter what she's wearing. Bey could pull on a pair of Hammer pants, a Hypercolor t-shirt, and saddle shoes with lacy Bobby socks, and she'd still look amazing, because she's Beyonce and she's gorgeous. But this? Gonna have to pass, thanks.
Verdict: Leave it. We're torn -- Bey can do most things, but this just isn't one of them (and to be fair, it's likely that no one else could, either).
It's probably a little confusing, seeing this many powerful, beautiful lady singers all hugged up together, looking genuinely happy, like they're actually having a good time, but you're just going to have to deal, because it's true: Rihanna, Alicia Keys, Madonna, and Beyonce all got together at the launch of Tidal, a new music streaming site, and it was glorious.
But come on, guys, we're all adults here. You know where this is going ...
"The person I most want to meet is President Obama. When the heck am I going to meet him? He just needs to invite me to the White House already. He probably thinks I'm too shocking to be there. I'm serious. If I was a bit more demure...or if I was just married to Jay Z. Hey, if Jay would only take me as his second wife, then I'd score an invitation."
--Madonna showcases her greatest gift, which is working so much "nope" into the tiniest of spaces.
Where do we even start with this? It's fine that she wants to meet Barack Obama, natch, but what makes her feel so entitled to do so? She seems to think that Obama has taken some time to seriously think about her and whether or not he should invite her to the White House, and that's sad. And then she brings Beyonce into it for absolutely no reason at all. Check it out, she manages to sort of insult Obama, Jay Z, and Beyonce in one single sentence. It's actually pretty impressive. And horrendous.
We would tell you to try again, Madge, but maybe you should just call it a day.
"Beyonce, to me, doesn't have a f--king Purple Rain, but she's the biggest thing on Earth. How can you be that big without at least one Sweet Home Alabama or Old Time Rock & Roll? ... People are like, 'Beyonce's hot. Got a nice f--king a--.' I'm like, 'Cool, I like skinny white chicks with big t--s.' Doesn't really f--king do much for me."
--Kid Rock on Beyonce, and though it'd be typical knee-jerk fashion for everybody to say, "What?! Horror! Kid Rock is a racist!" (and who knows, maybe he is; we don't know) we don't necessarily think that his sentiments about liking "skinny white chicks" come across as racist ... though there's always the possibility that he meant them that way.
Kid Rock is, after all, entitled to his opinions, and his personal preferences, unfortunately -- and though we can't wholly prove that he's a racist, it's completely obvious that he's a misogynistic troll, talking about Beyonce, a beautiful woman, this way -- but to say that this is a racist statement is stretching it a bit.
On the whole, we're not Kid Rock fans at all ... his Ted Nugent-esque rantings are getting pretty damn old, and definitely offensive ... but isn't everybody entitled to be attracted to who they want to be attracted to without the PC police saying otherwise?
In any case, ugh ... Kid Rock -- what a jackass, right? We can agree that Beyonce's music isn't that groundbreaking, but it's nearly impossible to look at her or read about what she does and say that she's not beautiful, both inside and out.
Get the hell outta here, Kid Rock. Aren't you on the 16th leg of your "Farewell" tour anyway?
This is apparently Beyonce's video take on Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People," because damn, is she giving this workout the rough end of the stick and impressing all sorts of folks -- including yours truly.
Though we don't often speak highly of Bey's music around here, we have to say: when she's on, she's on, and this workout explains so much ... namely her flawless figure and endless energy.
We don't often say this, but we're impressed ... that, and get it, Beyonce!
"I love her more than the normal amount. I try really hard not to like ... get creepy. I just really like channel it into a joyous admiration and appreciation."
--Taylor Swift on idolizing Beyonce, and really ... does it have to be customary that actors, actresses, and/or musicians on their way to superstardom should have to bow down and kiss Beyonce's ass to get into the club? Is that the final initiation or something? Because frankly, Bey's no master gatekeeper if we're talking in terms of unquestionable talent.
Taylor's been doing so, so well on her own lately, and doesn't need to rely on Beyonce's fame to catapult her higher. She's already crossed all sorts of boundaries and transitioned nicely into what she's doing these days, but coming across as subservient to the "Queen" is doing her -- and us -- no favors at all.
Keep moving, Taylor -- nothing to see there (except the "Single Ladies" dance. There is that).
We don't often agree with some of the conservative politicians that we discuss here (like Sarah Palin ... and though they're not politicians, the Duggars), but Mike Huckabee's new book, taking about things ranging from Beyonce to the White House kind of has a few good ideas ... namely how Bey's selling herself short by overshadowing her music with overt, unnecessary sexuality, and the impact it's making on young women.
Here're a few choice excerpts that are pretty spot-on:
"Beyonce is incredibly talented – gifted, in fact. She has an exceptional set of pipes and can actually sing. She is a terrific dancer – without the explicit moves best left for the privacy of her bedroom."
"Jay Z is a very shrewd businessman ... but I wonder: does it occur to him that he is arguably crossing the line from husband to pimp by exploiting his wife as a sex object? ... She must know that millions of young girls look up to her as a role model to emulate. And she even has a daughter herself now. So why has she done this?"
"With the first lady so concerned about making sure her daughters' bellies don't ingest unhealthy food, how can she let their brains ingest obnoxious and toxic mental poison in the form of song lyrics? If lived out, those lyrics would be far more devastating to someone's health than a cupcake."
So the bit about the pimp and the prostitute is out of line ... it's unnecessary to insult someone to that degree to make your point -- but the point still stands.
And the part about the lyrics of certain popular songs being more detrimental than a few cakes? We've been saying the same damn thing for a while now.
Spot on, Huckabee. Consider us baffled.