Yesterday, just in case you missed this in all of your St. Patrick's Day shenanigans, was Rob Kardashian's 28th birthday. It seems like Rob has had kind of a rough time lately, but don't you worry for one second, because his whole family was there to publicly shower him with birthday love. Seriously, this is some crazy sweetness right here.
Here's Kris Jenner's message to Rob:
Your smile can light up any room and a million hearts @robkardashian ..I fell madly in love with you the moment we met 28 years ago...you are such a joy, with the biggest heart I have ever known. God blessed me with an amazing son and I cherish every single day and memory we have...you have experienced great sadness, overcome adversity and also enjoyed success beyond measure...but the best is yet to come. I love you angel boy. I'm so proud of you. You are a kind delicious human being who cares deeply for others. Stay close to God and your family always...I wish you a very happy birthday Robbo! I wish for you joy, peace in your heart, health, happiness, and the sound of your beautiful laughter...you are a huge part of my heart and I love you. Mommy
And Kendall Jenner's:
happy birthday to my incredibly silly, wildly handsome big brother!!! @robkardashian YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON...ever! this guy is responsible for all the belly laughs I've had throughout my entire life. all the love in the world for this man.
And Kourtney Kardashian's:
Happy happy birthday to one of my best friends in the entire world who makes me laugh like no one else. Roberto, you have a heart of gold and a sweetness that is infectious. You are one of a kind. Happy birthday Rob Dawgy Dizzle.
And Khloe Kardashian's:
Happy birthday @robkardashian!!!!!! Never will I ever meet another man as great as you! I know this is the year where you will find your happiness again! I will be right by your side, holding your hand, every step of the way!!! I adore you my one and only brother!! Happy Happy Happy birthday!!
Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner gave him birthday wishes as well, but one can only handle so much love and sweetness. And man, this sure is a lot, isn't it?
If there's one thing this family can do right, it's family, and is anyone else tearing up right now?
Your eyes are not deceiving you -- this is Kendall Jenner, and not Kim Kardashian's head Photoshopped onto the body of a woman with much smaller breasts than that of Kim's. What a crazy resemblance, right?
It's amazing -- prior to puberty, they all look completely different. And then when all those hormones get going and they start coming into their own, they all look extraordinarily much alike. Astonishing, right? Strong genes in the Kardashian/Jenner family, y'all ... strong, strong genes.
All family drama aside, let's take a good, long look at Kendall Jenner's face, guys ... because in case you were too embroiled in what's been going on between Kim and Amber and Amber and Kylie and Kylie and Tyga and Khloe and Lamar and French and whomever else, this is one absolutely striking face.
This is what Kendall looked like backstage at the Vera Wang Collection show, and wow. Putting all those jokes and Kardashian/Jenner jibes out of our minds altogether, Kendall has really come into her own, hasn't she?
Looking good, girl, dang -- we were too busy watching the circus to see the real star of this show.
Oh Kendall Jenner -- who knew you had such strong opinions on ... well, anything, really. Prior to this new Allure interview you did, we didn't really think you had a lot of personality happening, and sort of blended in with the rest of the Kardashian/Jenners as "the Quiet One," but now we're probably going to forever recall you as "the Judgmental One," or "the Self-Obsessed One" -- all titles we thought belonged to other members of your family.
Here's Kendall on tattoos:
“I have a really weird thing about ‘forever.’ And my sister Kim always said, ‘Don’t put a bumper sticker on a Bentley.’”
And Kendall on Kim overshadowing her career:
“I didn’t need it to be a family affair. As selfish as this sounds, I wanted the attention to be on me for five seconds rather than my family. If they were sitting front row, it would have been all about, ‘Oh, Kim goes to Kendall’s first fashion show!’ I love Kim, but for a minute I wanted it to be like, ‘OK, this is [Kendall's] thing—she’s taking it seriously.’”
"I’m really pissed about this whole @KendallJenner and @ScottDisick thing!! Scott, I thought it was you and I that was having the affair! Scott is such a THOT! These hoes really ain’t loyal!! Huh?!?! Damn Gina!!! Damn!!!”'
--Khloe Kardashian about her "fake" (?) affair (?) with Scott Disick, pretending that Kendall Jenner is somehow horning in on the whole thing and having the lurid dalliance instead.
The joke's old, guys. Nobody cares. It's even gotten to the point where if Khloe and Scott (or even Kendall and Scott, for that matter) were having an affair, nobody'd even bat a fake eyelash.
Get better material, OK, girl? Or at least give this bit a rest and let it marinate for awhile longer. It might be funny again in, oh, dunno, another 5 or 6 years.
Hey guys, real quick, do we need any words here, or is this selfie of Kendall Jenner here enough? Like do we really need to dissect this whole thing and talk about how insanely gorgeous she is with this bikini and all, or do we all feel comfortable with our knowledge of that? Would it just be better to appreciate this in our own private ways? It would, wouldn't it?
Glad we could share this, everyone!
Well. If you thought Kris Jenner's Love Magazine advent video was a little uncomfortable, a lot interesting, and many, many confusing, then you need to see this video featuring ... well, also Kris Jenner, but this time, Kendall Jenner, too.
There's lots of legs, lots of lingerie, and lots of tree-destroying. It's disturbing how Kris so violently smashes ornaments ... nearly as much as how Kendall so violently can't dance.