10/22/2014 5:30 AM PDT
Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner has spoken: 17-year-old Kylie Jenner is reported to not be dating anybody, Jaden Smith or Tyga notwithstanding. OK? Can we put all those pesky little rumors to bed now, because why would Kylie do anything normal like a normal 17-year-old like have mini-relationships or go on dates or anything, and yeah, so believable.
To Ryan Seacrest, Jenner said:
“Kylie isn’t dating anybody. This whole little group of kids who have been around forever, and I call them kids because relatively speaking, they kind of all travel as a pack and they enjoy each other’s company. We all live in the same neighborhood. [Tyga] used to live across the street for a long time, and now he lives next door to Khloe. Everyone’s always around and with the way I cook, they’re not leaving.”
So, uh, in short, It's apparently Kris Jenner's cooking that brings all the boys to Kylie's yard -- forget all about any underaged milkshakes, OK? Just put them right out of your mind.
10/20/2014 6:30 AM PDT
... It's because he's become the master of vague, that's all. Kylie Jenner -- and come to think of it, most of her family -- is pretty vague when it comes to sharing personal information on social media, and Tyga's learned that pretty well.
In a response to an attack by an IG follower stating that Tyga was a "pedophile" for hanging with -- and allegedly dating -- Kylie, Tyga had this to say:
"why u sound so hateful. U don’t know s--t bout my life but the fake s--t u read online. Worry about your sad boring life. U wish u can have a baby by a n—- like me and live this lifestyle. let me guess no one wants u or ever attempted to spoil u and give u the world like I do for mines. Your ugly not just physically but in your soul. Never speak on on my son.”
LOL And yet he has the gonads to ask this woman why she sounds so "hateful." The bit about her being "ugly" isn't hateful at all, right?
About his son, which had apparently thrown him into a frenzy, the original poster said:
“Nasty a– pedophile..your career and family is worth losing over this Kardashian baby thot @kyliejenner..I hope @blacchyna takes you away from your son..you should be locked up.”
The drama, guys. So much drama. So much drama you probably want to puke right now, if you aren't already puking at the thought that a 24-year-old is allegedly allowed to date a 17-year-old girl who looks like this:
10/17/2014 7:20 AM PDT
Kylie Jenner has gone ... Kylie Jenner is on the path to ... Kylie Jenner ... guys, we just can't even fathom where this is going to go anymore. Kylie Jenner is 17 years old, and nothing but nothing is going to stop her from doing what she wants, have you got that clear?
The latest selfie she shared on her IG is no exception, of course. You thought you'd seen racy Kylie before? You haven't seen anything yet. Jeez Louise.
10/16/2014 3:45 AM PDT
This is Kim Kardashian Kylie Jenner in Calabasas, running errands after seeing a movie. She emerged from CVS (suspicious brown paper bag not included in photo, but we're guessing it contained some magical mystery lip liner that makes her lips like WHAT?!) and exhibited some unprecedented behavior for Kylie Jenner, covering her face and shying away from the cameras.
What's up, Kylie? Something to hide, girl? Pretty soon, there's gonna be no hiding that face of yours ... it's just becoming too noticeable and definitively -- ahem -- defined.
10/10/2014 6:30 AM PDT
... You may see a stranger, across a crowded room.
Sorry, wrong generation, right sentiment.
This picture is from Tyga's -- 25-year-old Tyga's -- IG page, and as you can see, it's Kylie Jenner. Kylie Jenner -- 17-year-old Kylie Jenner -- being creeped on via black and white photo, and it does nothing to quell the rumors that a romance is heating up between Kylie and the too-old-for-her rapper.
We'll see how this pans out -- meanwhile, we'll be standing by, silently judging today's youth for their desire to grow up even faster than the previous generation tried to, and that was damn quick. Dang.
10/8/2014 5:30 AM PDT
Kylie Jenner must think that we're under the impression that puberty's gone and inflated her lips to WOW proportion, because she's been sticking to her "no plastic surgery, that hurts my feels" for the longest time now -- but the above photo, which features Kylie from the side, shows a for-sure augmented upper lip that can't be "just lipliner," right?
Kylie, Kylie, Kylie -- yeah, you're only 17 years old and won't be 18 for nearly another year, but be upfront, girl, OK? Gosh, it's not like you're gonna get in any kind of trouble for doing things underage or anything ... you know your last name, for crying out loud.
10/7/2014 8:30 AM PDT
Jaden Smith is rapping again (he's snapping again) and this time, it sounds an awful lot like he's outing rumored on-and-off girlfriend Kylie Jenner for "moving onto better things" while he's just trying to stay a kid. ... But if Jaden were trying to stay a kid, he probably wouldn't be rapping about being used and Mercedes Benzes and sleeping "with the girl of his dreams on the weeks" and "passion burning like ashes."
It's funny -- the moral or whatever of the song appears to be a dude telling a girl that she's just moving way too fast with her life, considering her age, and while we've all thought that very thing about Kylie Jenner (if this is even remotely about Kylie Jenner), it'd pretty rich coming from a kid who says things like "School = depression. Learning + creation = happiness. Happiness = art. Art = intelligence. Intelligence = rebellion. And rebellion is bad for the System, so they put us in school."
Strange message. Neat beats, though.