10/30/2014 8:30 AM PDT
Hey, real quick before we talk about this new photo of Kylie Jenner, let's have this totally unrelated discussion: you know how sometimes when people "have lip events," their lips get so big that they can't even close their mouths properly? We've seen it time and time again in ladies like Courtney Stodden and Farrah Abraham, they somehow lose track of how lips are supposed to look, and they plump them up so much that their lips end up losing that important ability to touch each other. It's a strange look, but, sadly, it's a familiar one. Weird, huh?
Anyway, back to Kylie here already! Gee, her lip lining ability sure is improving by the day, isn't it? Looking good, girl! Or whatever!
10/28/2014 4:00 AM PDT
Kylie Jenner is just so bored of our constant speculation about her lips that she took her ranting self to Twitter and said it ... but didn't deny the notion that she's gotten some pretty extensive work done on her 17-year-old lips, which is suspicious, but also honest, because who's going to deny that?
Kylie said, "How long are we gonna talk about this lip thing lmao. Let's get a [sic] our lives together and talk about some important sh-t. Just talk about something new at least. I'm bored."
And yet, that pic up there? That brand new photo featuring Kylie's pouty, pouting pout? She posted that on Instagram just around the time of her Twitter rant, but pulled it down. Why, Kyles? Why are you going to spout such powerful words about talking about important things and then pull down a photo elsewhere on your social media? Kind of contradicts being true to yourself, doesn't it?
The world may never know what you've done -- or not done -- to your face, girl, but addressing the speculation in such an disingenuous way only hurts your credibility for what's to come ... whatever that may be.
10/27/2014 7:30 AM PDT
You might not recognize this lady right off, what with all that hair in the face, and of course your eyes are immediately drawn to those lips, those gigantic, overwhelmingly enormous lips ... but that's Kylie Jenner, guys. That is a selfie that Kylie Jenner posted on her Shots account and then tweeted out, just so everyone could be sure to see this. And man, did we ever see this.
I know that we keep talking about Kylie's lips, but honestly, how could we not? Do you really expect anyone to be able to look at this picture and not be shocked and appalled? Even if Kylie isn't getting lip injections -- she hasn't addressed the topic, and you know what they say about assuming things -- that means she's putting her makeup on in a very clown-like manner. And don't even start about how her lips grew because puberty, OK? Because this is not a natural state for lips to be in.
Take a look at all the before pics, all right? Kylie Jenner is doing something, and it is no good. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.
10/22/2014 5:30 AM PDT
Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner has spoken: 17-year-old Kylie Jenner is reported to not be dating anybody, Jaden Smith or Tyga notwithstanding. OK? Can we put all those pesky little rumors to bed now, because why would Kylie do anything normal like a normal 17-year-old like have mini-relationships or go on dates or anything, and yeah, so believable.
To Ryan Seacrest, Jenner said:
“Kylie isn’t dating anybody. This whole little group of kids who have been around forever, and I call them kids because relatively speaking, they kind of all travel as a pack and they enjoy each other’s company. We all live in the same neighborhood. [Tyga] used to live across the street for a long time, and now he lives next door to Khloe. Everyone’s always around and with the way I cook, they’re not leaving.”
So, uh, in short, It's apparently Kris Jenner's cooking that brings all the boys to Kylie's yard -- forget all about any underaged milkshakes, OK? Just put them right out of your mind.
10/20/2014 6:30 AM PDT
... It's because he's become the master of vague, that's all. Kylie Jenner -- and come to think of it, most of her family -- is pretty vague when it comes to sharing personal information on social media, and Tyga's learned that pretty well.
In a response to an attack by an IG follower stating that Tyga was a "pedophile" for hanging with -- and allegedly dating -- Kylie, Tyga had this to say:
"why u sound so hateful. U don’t know s--t bout my life but the fake s--t u read online. Worry about your sad boring life. U wish u can have a baby by a n—- like me and live this lifestyle. let me guess no one wants u or ever attempted to spoil u and give u the world like I do for mines. Your ugly not just physically but in your soul. Never speak on on my son.”
LOL And yet he has the gonads to ask this woman why she sounds so "hateful." The bit about her being "ugly" isn't hateful at all, right?
About his son, which had apparently thrown him into a frenzy, the original poster said:
“Nasty a– pedophile..your career and family is worth losing over this Kardashian baby thot @kyliejenner..I hope @blacchyna takes you away from your son..you should be locked up.”
The drama, guys. So much drama. So much drama you probably want to puke right now, if you aren't already puking at the thought that a 24-year-old is allegedly allowed to date a 17-year-old girl who looks like this:
10/17/2014 7:20 AM PDT
Kylie Jenner has gone ... Kylie Jenner is on the path to ... Kylie Jenner ... guys, we just can't even fathom where this is going to go anymore. Kylie Jenner is 17 years old, and nothing but nothing is going to stop her from doing what she wants, have you got that clear?
The latest selfie she shared on her IG is no exception, of course. You thought you'd seen racy Kylie before? You haven't seen anything yet. Jeez Louise.
10/16/2014 3:45 AM PDT
This is Kim Kardashian Kylie Jenner in Calabasas, running errands after seeing a movie. She emerged from CVS (suspicious brown paper bag not included in photo, but we're guessing it contained some magical mystery lip liner that makes her lips like WHAT?!) and exhibited some unprecedented behavior for Kylie Jenner, covering her face and shying away from the cameras.
What's up, Kylie? Something to hide, girl? Pretty soon, there's gonna be no hiding that face of yours ... it's just becoming too noticeable and definitively -- ahem -- defined.