5/17/2016 2:00 PM PDT

As much as we hate to have to side with Miley ... this is bonkers.

"Duck Dynasty" star and apparent Dark Ages enthusiast Phil Robertson has made a movie titled "Torchbearer." And it's one of the movies up for screening at this year's Cannes film festival. Which puts him in such esteemed company as Woody Allen. Take that as you will.

The movie features a lot of footage of Nazis -- in his mind, it looks like anything that's not his very specific brand of Christianity is on the path to a Fourth Reich. Oh, and what appears to be some scenes of him scolding people visiting the Parthenon (yes, there are people for whom that's a religious site, but most of the people who visit are just tourists and Phil needs to chill).

And while he professes to have never turned on a computer and to not own a cell phone (which, we guess, explains some things and rules out his candidacy for personhood at the same time), he still thinks that people should value his opinion on stuff. ... But let's take a look at how he's singling out Miley:
4/21/2016 4:00 PM PDT
We know that this will come as a shock to everyone -- so please brace yourselves. But we're beginning to suspect ... thanks to a few subtle clues ... that Miley Cyrus ... just might have some passing interest in marijuana.

Who knew?

We joke, of course, because Miley has stopped at nothing to make sure that everyone with internet access knows how much she loves pot. And ... we get it. We didn't need yet another photo, this time wishing us all a happy 4/20, to understand.

But we have some serious weed fatigue from Miley's ... everything. Her outfits, her social media, and yes, even her music videos. We support her rights and all of that, but she doesn't need to be so in-your-face about it. It's beyond obnoxious, at this point. This girl can do better.

Filed Under:  Miley Cyrus , drugs , Photos , legal
4/15/2016 7:00 AM PDT
"I am not engaged, no." 

--Liam Hemsworth, positively crushing all of our dreams, and likely, by virtue, those same dreams belonging to Miley Cyrus.

As you've seen, Miley's been spotted wearing the couple's former engagement ring, and man -- this has got to be some embarrassment, right? Poor Miley, stumping around, trying to put herself out and act like the Miley Liam was apparently first attracted to before "discovering herself" AKA "acting tacky" all the damn time, and man. Harsh. 

As for Liam, we get it, though, boy ... we'd keep mum on a life-long commitment to Miley Cyrus, too -- at least until she figures out who she's going to be one week to the next.

4/14/2016 4:00 PM PDT
You will be blown away by how great Miley looks right now. No, this isn't a joke.

Miley's been such a complicated person to follow through the years. And lately she's been pretty obnoxious in a number of ways. Do we get that she's been trying to distance herself from her past image? Sure. Do we like what we've been seeing from her for the past couple of years? No. Definitely not.

So when we heard that she got new hair, our first horrified thought was "oh no, what's she done now, it's cornrows or dreads or a mohawk." Turns out that we should have given her the benefit of the doubt. ... Just this once: 
Filed Under:  Miley Cyrus , Photos
3/28/2016 4:00 PM PDT
What, no wacky antics? But how will anyone know how much she loves being a hippie?

It's so pleasant -- and so rare, these days -- to see Miley Cyrus just being Miley herself. But here we have her, relaxing with her sister, Brandi (no, that's not a time traveling version of herself from the past). She's not posting shock-value animal carcasses, or humiliating throwback photos from another actress' troubled past. She's not doing whatever gratuitous nonsense this was. 

Miley looks like she's just thoroughly caught up enjoying herself. She looks so cute.

You know rambunctious kids who are just full of energy and test your patience during the day, but then they fall asleep and they look so peaceful -- so much so that you kind of forget about how exhausting it can be to watch after them? That's what we're getting from Miley right here. And it's so very, very welcome.

Check out the brand-new pics: 
3/20/2016 9:00 AM PDT
Not every vegan is one of "those" vegans.

But Miley is.

And by "one of those," we means vegans who don't consider it so much a "personal choice" but a mandatory lifestyle and turn into rabid missionaries for it. The sorts who ignore annoying details like biology (some people can't do a vegan diet, period) and deforestation (huge portions of lost rainforest become soybean farms) and economic realities (people who live on certain foods can no longer afford to buy them when health-conscious American yuppies start buying them). Nasty people who won't let somebody tweet about chicken nuggets in peace.

Well, in furtherance of her obnoxious agenda, she's posted something truly, wildly nasty. It's this kind of thing that gives decent vegans a bad name: 
Filed Under:  Miley Cyrus , Photos
3/9/2016 5:00 PM PST

Go ahead and skip to the 1:10 mark ... unless you want to hear some samples of Blake Shelton's music.

Entertainment Tonight got their hands on the incomparable and legendary Dolly Parton -- honestly, is there anyone more comforting and universally beloved in the entertainment business? -- and asked her a little about Miley and Liam Hemsworth's rekindled relationship: