OK, so this wacky, marijuana-themed mess right here featuring Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, and Joe Jonas: it's pretty terrible, right? And no, it's not some sad artistic attempt by Joe Jonas to become relevant again, and no, it's not the latest art from Miley Cyrus, either. This is actually something that Demi Lovato posted on her Instagram. The very same Demi Lovato that has been clean and sober for a few years now. Kind of weird, right? Here is her reasoning:
In honor of our former escapades, I thought you'd like this to remember your first blaze.. Happy #420
She tagged just Joe, and also used the hashtag #disneyhighclassof09.
It's just that it doesn't seem like a very good idea for someone who takes sobriety so seriously to post something like this. "Happy 420" does not sound like something that would come from a professedly sober person's mouth. This dumb photo seems to be glamorizing something that was part of a very hard time in Demi's life, and sorry, but that doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Let it be said that we've got no problem with armpit hair -- it's natural, there's nothing wrong with it, and any woman who should choose to rock it shouldn't receive any flak whatsoever. Miley Cyrus, however, is the exception to the rule ... like she normally is, but not in a fun, cutesy way -- in an in-your-face, pain-in-the-ass, undereducated way.
Miley's been hanging with the amazing Willis girls lately, and though we were initially excited because we thought that maybe their insight and well-roundedness would rub off on Cyrus, we can see that Miley's simply just picked up one more way to "shock" people ... by copying Scout Willis' armpit hair style, and likely using it for attention -- basically anything else than the noble reason Scout Willis dons it for.
Truth be told, Miley should just go somewhere behind closed doors, get a little more knowledge in her head, and then reemerge and try again. Because honestly, what she's been doing for ... well, a long time now ... simply isn't working.
Miley Cyrus, as we've learned time and time again, will do damn near anything for attention. Nudity? No problem. Photographic evidence of drug use? Sure. Stirring up some rumors about a former friend's former relationship and fake tabloid pregnancy? Absolutely!
Miley posted that tabloid cover up there, the one that claims and and Selena Gomez were both impregnated by the same person. And her addition to the story?
And by the same man we mean @justinbieber
You really showed 'em this time, Miley. You don't care at all about other people's feelings, how cool are you? Sure, Selena actually did date Justin Bieber for a while, and there was a point in which she could have gotten pregnant with him. But anything for the LOLs, right, Miley? And the meaningless Instagram comments, we can't forget those!
Some people should have their internet privileges revoked. You know them; some of them could very well be on your Facebook friends list, or one of your followers on Instagram, or even that super annoying Twitter user that just grinds on your nerves.
Miley Cyrus, as evidenced by the above photo she shared on her own IG page, is one of them. Miley Cyrus, a 22-year-old overgrown adolescent, is ridiculous.
There's no excuse for something like this, because no matter how you slice it, it's just wrong. If a man -- especially a famous one -- were to post this picture, and insert his head in place of hers? Oh man, can you imagine the outcry? It'd be nearly too much to bear. But Miley seems to think that she's exempt from looking ridiculous, and instead insists on pushing the envelope so far down our throats that we barf postage stamps and pass return-address stickers through our bowels.
Stay classy, Miley.
Probably one of the most tragic things in the whole entire world (isn't exaggerating fun?!) is the fact that Miley Cyrus is so dang talented, but she insists on throwing that talent away in favor of being "cool." She could be releasing some truly amazing music, she could be working on making herself a legend, but instead, she's doing nonsense like this. This, by the way, is a new song that Miley is working on.
Just listen to those lyrics, guys. "He wanna taste my gummy, it's magically delicious." And she's not even singing those foolish words, she's "rapping." Which isn't really fair to say, because rapping, at least good rapping, takes some skill that Miley simply does not possess. It's just a mess. A great big terrible mess.
Miley Cyrus is so delightful sometimes, just because she's such a little mystery. So often she makes us think that all she's got up in that head of hers is air and marijuana smoke and crafting ideas, but every now and then she'll pop up with something thoughtful and nice and just impressive. And that's precisely what she did when she spoke to Time about the absolutely ridiculous new religious freedom law in Indiana:
I lived a life where I had to be something every day and had to be a character, and it wasn’t necessarily who I wanted to be. And now I’ve dedicated my life to being whoever it is that I want to be, and also constantly learning and evolving.
That’s what’s wrong with [supporters of the Indiana law]—they’re not choosing to live that way. And if you don’t choose to live that way, you’re not going to last in this generation because we are overtaking you. They are dinosaurs, and they are dying off. We are the new generation, and with that will come so much.
We are moving forward. As much as we get distracted by stupid laws that make us feel like we’re regressing, we’re not. We are moving forward because it’s our turn as young people. It’s a new rights movement.
Yes, Miley. All the yeses. Please continue spreading your this wisdom to the masses, because goodness knows they desperately need it.
Guys, forget everything you thought you knew about anything, because you simply do not need to know it anymore when Tallulah Willis is looking this dang gorgeous. Just look at her, OK? And yes, you can look at that random ass next to her too, but be sure to look at her again. Because yes.
Oh, and just in case Tallulah wasn't giving off enough of that weird/cool vibe, it turns out that she's buds with one of the weirdest/coolest girls out there, Miley Cyrus:
They even play Twister together!
I know, I know, this is a lot to take in so early on a Monday morning, but a good mind blowing is a solid way to start the week. Don't be afraid to get blown, y'all.