Probably one of the most difficult things we have to accept in this generation is that Miley Cyrus, while possessing a beautiful, beautiful voice, is one of the most obnoxious people in the history of the world. That hurts, doesn't it? But no matter how much pain it may cause us, it's definitely true, and as Miley continues to talk about semen art and other such atrocities, she manages to release incredibly lovely covers like this one:
That's Miley doing "It's Over" by Roy Orbison, and does she knock it out of the park or what? She also, shockingly enough, did a great job with her Led Zeppelin cover, which shows that she's really working on expanding her range. We knew she could do country, we knew she could do pop, and now, friends, we know that she can do just about anything.
What a strange, strange world, huh?
We've seen Miley Cyrus wear so many different masks, from the cute little Hannah Montana one to the country star one to the raunchy Bangerz one, but something that we've never really seen Miley go for is honest to goodness rock music. It just hasn't happened, and you can probably think of a million reasons why. But everything is changing now, because Miley just did this Led Zeppelin cover, and, believe it or not, it's actually not the worst thing that ever happened:
See? It just might be time to give Miley one more chance. Yes, all the twerking has been painful, and of course it's been hard to watch her special kind of dementedness take form over the past year or so. But guys, this cover is pretty all right. We might want to keep our ears out for what else she has to offer.
Here's Miley Cyrus in the shower ... because of course she's taking shower photos; there isn't much substance left to what she's been doing as of late, aside from making drug and dog shrines and waxing poetic about what pineapple juice does for a man's semen.
It's really too bad -- it's not as if this is an isolated (or even semi-annual) event for Miley. This is Miley, and this is what she's reduced herself to ever since she attempted "reinventing" herself into something other than Hannah Montana or "Liam Hemsworth's girlfriend."
Is Miley gone too far? Well, we kinda think so ... and if she keeps this sort of behavior up for much longer, then it's nearly imminent.
Settle in for some sadness, because it seems to be coming in droves these days: Miley Cyrus' mom, Tish Cyrus, has always tried to look like a cool mom, a mom that is down with having a daughter that behaves like Miley, a mom that would totally support her daughter making art out of sex toys and drugs. And in this new interview, she just took it way, way too far when she commented on this bizarre activity that she does with Miley:
“Every Saturday morning when we are making breakfast, we twerk in the kitchen. It is so much fun. Oh yeah, she has taught me ... You know, I joke about it [changing] from being ‘Billy Cyrus’ wife’ to ‘Miley Cyrus’ mom. But no, not really. I am proud of her — she is my child.”
Oh Tish, hang on tight, girl. Be sure to continue keeping a close eye on which of your family members is receiving the most attention, and just never let go. You got this. You've got such a hold on this weird, vicarious fame. Congrats.
This is just going to murder your spirit and your hope for the future of the world, but it's real, and we need to face it: Miley Cyrus is getting very serious with her "art," and to prove it, she's opening her very own art show, "Dirty Hippie," in New York tomorrow. And if you think that news by itself is awful, then you haven't heard anything yet.
The show will apparently feature some sculptures that Miley has made -- you know, like that legendary giant bong. So far she has pieces like a vibrator with a joint glued onto it, and something made out of a pineapple, because SEMEN:
“I did the pineapple because you know what they say about pineapple, right? If you drink a lot of pineapple juice you’re going to have yummy c--. So that’s why I put it on the d--- with a bunch of babies, and it says, ‘F---.’ I try to think about everything so it has a story to me.”
RIP, art. It was nice knowing you when you were beautiful and interesting and thoughtful. Hope you didn't suffer too much when you were killed by Miley's weed vibrator. And honestly, you're better off now. We'll never forget you.
"This seems so f---ing lame to say but I feel like my art became kind of a metaphor— an example of my life. Because a bunch of s----y things kept happening. I’ve always been so f---ing lucky. Everything has always just been easy for me. And at the beginning of this year, I hated 2014 because everything that could go wrong kept going wrong. Being in the hospital, my dog dying...Everything just kept sh---ing on me and sh---ing on me. So then I started taking all of those s--- things and making them good, and being like, I’m using it. My brother and my friends all said that’s what they felt I was doing. So, that’s how I started making art. I had a bunch of f---ing junk and s---, and so instead of letting it be junk and s---, I turned it into something that made me happy. I just sit around and smoke weed anyway, so I might as well sit around, smoke weed, and do something. And this is me doing something. I love it."
--Miley Cyrus explains her newfound passion for making her "art." And just in case you'd forgotten here is an example of Miley's "art":
Yes, that is a giant bong with a bunch of beads and other knick knacks hot glued to it. That's what Miley considers to be art. That's Miley's metaphor for her life. She admittedly sits around, gets high, and does this kind of thing. That's what her life is like. Just let that sink in for a moment.
Have you ever felt such powerful, overwhelming sadness in your whole entire life? Of course not, right? Because this right here is the saddest thing that has ever happened. Watching Miley all but ignoring her talent and instead focusing on this stoner crafting ridiculousness, that's too much sadness to bear. Who would have ever thought we'd miss Hannah Montana so very, very much?
Miley Cyrus is definitely losing something ... whether it's marbles, fans, rationality, or talent ... but it surely is something.
Take these new videos from her IG page for example. Who even knows what she's doing, but whatever it is, it's loud, obnoxious, annoying, and frankly, kind of strange.
The Hollywood sign of which she's fawning over is in her backyard, so it's technically OK that she's walking around in her panties while ... well, while doing that horrible accent, and you know what? We can't. We just can't with this anymore. If this is how Miley wants to spend her life, that's her business ... it's just too tiring trying to keep up with the bizarre antics, and that's exactly what they are: bizarre.