This, dear friends, is the latest chapter in the sordid tale of Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus and their beautiful friendship that has wilted and died. Yesterday, we heard straight from Demi about how the two of them "don't have anything in common" and are just "acquaintances" these days, and now, we're hearing some details about what actually happened to tear them apart. Hint: it's basically all Miley's fault.
See, allegedly, the thing is that "Miley is a wild card and Demi has made a point of not surrounding herself with people" like that, because "Demi's sobriety is very important to her." Also, Demi is apparently all about her reputation, which of course could get hurt if she were to be seen with Miley, doing all her crazy antics. Then there's this story:
"About six months ago at a small gathering, both Miley and Demi were there. They were in the same room for a only a few moments, and it was super-awkward, very girly high-school, pretending to ignore each other. They didn't speak, they didn't even make eye contact."
Look, sometimes people grow apart, especially people Miley and Demi's age. It's totally normal, and it doesn't say anything bad about those people, it's just what happens sometimes. So there doesn't need to be any "girly high school" antics, and honestly, neither of them need to continue commenting on it. Demi got sober and smart and amazing, Miley's having fun being young and partying, and both of those are legitimate life choices. So no more awkwardness, OK, ladies? No more weirdness. Just love.
There was once a time, many moons ago, when Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus were friends. It was a very different time, a time when Miley Cyrus had long hair and had not yet discovered twerking, when Demi Lovato had not developed the immense wisdom that she has today. But, obviously, things change, and so do people, and that's basically what Demi said when she was asked about the state of her friendship with Miley. You know, except it was a lot more awkward:
“Um…yeah… that, um… we’re, we’re like, we’re acquaintances… it’s life, and people change, and, you know, I don’t have anything in common with her anymore, and I wish her all the best.”
Well, that's nice, isn't it? For Demi, I mean. It sure does sound like Demi cut her out of her life as politely as she could once Miley started her brand new phase of crazy, and that's fine, really. She doesn't need Miley smoking weed and "dancing with molly" while she's trying to be sober and so very lovely. And isn't it a nice testament to Demi's greatness that she's not just slamming Miley and her weirdness?
Be a Demi, kids. Don't be a Miley.
... And we only say that for one reason: it's because Miley Cyrus' new commercial for Italian lingerie company, Golden Lady, is kind of adorable.
Yeah, that tongue is still lolling about, and she's doing her awkward drop-it-low moves, but all in all, her commercial for GL's "Rock Your Legs" line is pretty fetching. Could it be the presence of a new boyfriend that's making Miley's moves seem less desperate? Could be ... but we'll just pretend that Miley's on the uptick and surge it forth with positive thinking. It's gotta happen anyway, right? You know, someday? Let's make this be the start.
Oh Miley ... if there's absolutely one thing we can count on from you, it's extreme absurdity, but in this case, we like it -- it's pretty funny, and LOL can you even imagine Miley Cyrus ever having a backside like the one above. No -- that's a joke; it's also a firm, firm 'no'.
This is what Miley's sharing on her IG page, as if we needed another reason to "break the internet." How about we start a trend called "break the computers (with a hammer, y'all)" every single time a celebrity shows off an ass ... whether it's Kim Kardashian's or not?
Come on, now, be honest: who's sick of seeing all the butts lately?
Too bad, so sad -- here's more:
Liam Hemsworth really dodged a bullet with that whole Miley Cyrus thing, huh? When he was proposed to her, she was basically still Hannah Montana, and if it was weird for us to watch her go through that gigantic transformation with the twerking and the drug references and all, just imagine what it was like for Liam.
In the time since they broke up, he's been pretty quiet on the subject, but he just opened up about it, and wouldn't you just love to hear how Jennifer Lawrence helped make things easier on his troubled heart?
"Being around someone like Jen, who is so honest and laughs all day long, I am forced to be in the right now. I'm much happier…I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been. For a few years I went down a path where I forgot to be in the moment."
He's talking, of course, about being with Jennifer while filming the "Hunger Games" movies, but man, wouldn't they be a gorgeous couple? Much more fitting, anyway, than Liam and Miley, and if she made him so happy ... that couple should happen, that's all. For the good of us all.
So rumor -- and photo -- have it that Miley Cyrus is dating Arnold Schwarzenegger's son, Patrick, and isn't that a surprise? Well, no, it shouldn't be all things considered: Patrick was allegedly connected to Taylor Swift while she was dating Conor Kennedy, and generally, it makes sense that certain people of an age group date all the same people at least two or three times. Katy Perry, John Mayer; John Mayer, Taylor Swift ... it's like All the Degrees of Kevin Bacon At Once around this bunch here, and so that's why we wouldn't be all that surprised if Miley were dating this kid.
Though Miley's rep hasn't responded to dating questions, and Patrick's camp gave a traditional "no comment," there are still things purportedly happening behind the scenes, hence the above pic.
The bigger question, however, is will a companion settle girlfriend down a little bit? Because you remember how classy and demure she was with Liam Hemsworth, and lots of folks -- us included -- thought that was the real Miley 'til the "real" Miley came out. Thoughts?
Guys, I know you're scared, and you're confused, and you might be a little hurt, but this is real life: that is a photo of Miley Cyrus, nearly completely covered up, and she is not smoking anything, nor is she grabbing her crotch. It's a photo in which she's not being lewd or desperate or "weird" in any way. And doesn't that blow your whole entire mind?
Miley posted this photo on Sunday, even, so it would seem like this look would be past the Halloween partying stage, and besides, she'd already posted her Halloween costume photos on Saturday. And sure, there's a chance that this could just be one more little costume, but there's also a chance that this is something new Miley is trying out. It's still a little silly, of course, but wouldn't you take this over her weed-themed onesie any day?
Verdict: love it! You're on the right track, girl (hopefully). Please don't screw this one up.