Everybody's Mad at Poor Jennifer Lopez Because She Can't Figure Out the Internet
OK, really everybody's mad at Jennifer Lopez because she sang "Happy Birthday" to Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, the "President" of Turkmenistan. Those quotation marks around "President" were there because even though that's this guy's title, most people refer to him as a dictator, which has different connotations. Bad connotations. Bad connotations that make people mad when their beloved, somewhat simple-minded pop stars sing "Happy Birthday" to them.
But guys, Jennifer didn't even know about the dude, all right? She just thought it would be neat to go to this different country and sing for, like, the president. She thought it was an honor, you know? And yeah, she could have Googled the guy and figured out the situation in about five seconds, but she just didn't think about it, all right? She was too busy being a LEGEND.
And by the way, that birthday party wasn't even about all that dictator business -- according to Jennifer's rep, "it was not a government sponsored event or political in nature." And "had there been knowledge of human rights issues of any kind, Jennifer would not have attended." Duh, she wouldn't have attended. She would have known that all you guys up on your high horses, what with your fancy knowledge of current events and easy Internet searches, would get mad. Gosh, she's not stupid.