Unbelievable News: Lifetime Is Doing "Flowers in the Attic"
Oh gosh. Oh gosh. This is, probably literally, the best news so far this year. Maybe even this decade. Because Lifetime, the television network that's brought you movies about teen pregnancy and porn addiction for years, is going to give us the beautiful, majestic gift of a "Flowers in the Attic" remake. Can you even stand it?
Just in case you don't know what's happening here, "Flowers in the Attic" is a fantastic book by V.C. Andrews, all about four children who get locked in an attic after their father dies and their mother turns into a money hungry twit. The attic belongs to their grandmother, who loves the bible and also being a cruel, vicious monster. Also, the two oldest kids end up having sex with each other. A movie based on this book was made many, many years ago, but it was terrible. And now, Lifetime is going to make things right.
As if this news could get any better, Heather Graham and Ellen Burstyn have been cast as the mother and the grandmother. How incredible does that sound? Super incredible, that's how incredible.
Hey, maybe this could turn into a whole thing where Lifetime does the complete works of V.C. Andrews. Could we get the word out about that? Can someone start a petition?