You're Going to Die, But Gwyneth Paltrow Kind of Looks Great These Days

8/13/2013 5:30 AM PDT, by
You know what's probably the most difficult thing in the world? Talking about Gwyneth Paltrow for any length of time without wanting to insult her. Like if you just look at this photo real quick of Gwyneth doing a little book signing, then you can say "Oh, she looks beautiful, really refreshed and happy, and the lack of makeup is really doing wonders for her whole look." And then you can be done, and don't you feel good about yourself?

It's just that when you keep going, when you start to notice that silly ol' Gwyneth didn't even wear a bra, and then you remember that time that Gwyneth said she'd rather die than let her kids eat Cup-a-Soup, and then you remember that other time that Gwyneth said that she'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can, and GOD, Gwyneth, why do you have to be such an obnoxious piece of work?

See, it's just really difficult, that's all.

... She does look pretty amazing, though, right? Man.
Filed Under:  Gwyneth Paltrow , Photos

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Mikey the Retard
1017 days ago

cheez koms from a kan?

Observer_The Lovely
1017 days ago

Yes, Mikey....a can.....but you have to shove a poop-stick in to get it out....

1017 days ago

I can better better at Walmart

1017 days ago


1017 days ago


I thought your wife got mad when you posted your vacation pictures online.

Observer_The Lovely
1017 days ago

Not since Taylor Swift moved into my basement, Rokan....

1017 days ago

Taylor Swift moved into your basement?

Is that code for some sort of "sex thing"

Pepper always says he is "going to the mall with Justin Bieber," when he's going to masturbate in the walk-in pantry.

Took me awhile to figure out what he meant.

Observer_The Lovely
1017 days ago


...when I win a radio station contest....I WIN....

1017 days ago what?
Sorry, no bueno. The shoulder pads are ridiculous too.

1017 days ago

Oh dear god Observer! MY EYES! MY POOR EYES!

1016 days ago

She looks like a man.