Miley Cyrus' Best Friend is Shameful

8/27/2013 9:00 AM PDT, by
0827_fish_cheyne
All right, so here's basically what's happening -- Kelly Clarkson tweeted a not-so-cryptic message yesterday about the VMAs, and most people -- like yours truly and this shady Cheyne Thomas character -- took to be about Miley Cyrus and her gross VMA performance. Here's what it said: 
Right? OK. It was basically Kelly Clarkson, telling it like it is, because Miley's VMA singing was pretty pitchy, and she did gyrate on a stage like a common stripper, bouncing her ass to and fro, wagging her tongue like it was supposed to be some kind of seduction flag. Some people said Kelly was spot-on, some people thought not, but at the end of the day almost everybody was in agreement that what Kelly said wasn't nearly as personally offensive as some of the stuff seen everywhere else on the internet. 

Cut to Miley's BFF, Cheyne. Cheyne, who we're not going to laugh at for spelling his name "Cheyne," when it's clearly pronounced "Shane," because what good would that do? 

Cheyne decided that he was going to defend his bestie's honor by eviscerating Kelly on Twitter, calling her fat and desperate and sad and -- oh man, he must have been mad -- 30. He called her 30, because 30 must be so awful (Disclosure: 30 is so not awful, because 30 is my current reality, and 30 is super). Here it is: 
So, here it is -- Cheyne, grow the F up. Honestly. Until you're a real man who doesn't take swings at people by judging them by their physical appearance, nobody's going to take you seriously. That's basically the start and finish of the conversation. Your girl Miley made a mistake at the VMAs, and not many people are going to argue that point. What she did is not the end of the world, and it's not like her career is dead or over. People are going to eventually not be fascinated by her hot mess of a performance, and life's gonna go on. 

By the way, we know, we know; you weren't "starting a battle," and you don't even know what the term "sarcasm" means, because if you did, you wouldn't defend calling Kelly Clarkson "fat" and "sad" and "30" if you were being sarcastic. Check out the definition, OK, pal?
But wait -- judging someone by their body shape isn't serious? It's not called, I don't know, "bullying"? ... No, I guess it wouldn't be a serious thing if you're a spoiled little hipster-wannabe with rich friends and a sense of omniscient entitlement. 

One thing is certain, though, Cheyne -- you were right about one thing. The whole "not to be taken seriously"? Believe this -- we've got that part down pat, all right?

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Comments

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Honey boo boo
359 days ago

God. This article was so difficult to follow. Badly written, poster needs to revise/10

Keyerra Everistic
359 days ago

He is pathetic

Olivia
359 days ago

And calling Miley a stripper isn't bullying?

3 Replies
Abir
359 days ago

So Kelly dissing Miley's appearance and vocal ability is classed as "telling it like it is" but when somebody comments on Kelly's visible weight issue it's "offensive" ?

Both comments were rude. End of.

1 Reply
Observer_The Lovely
359 days ago

Fat and thirty is no way to go through life.....

Observer_The Lovely
359 days ago

......and she did gyrate on a stage like a common stripper, bouncing her ass to and fro, wagging her tongue like it was supposed to be some kind of seduction flag

....you write that like it is a bad thing.....

1 Reply
Matt
359 days ago

Miley sucks, Kelly is awesome and Sarah calling anyone a bully is laughable.

luckycat
359 days ago

SO.MILEY IS BONY,SKANKY,20,WITH NO TALENT WHAT SO EVER.
WHAT'S CHEYNE'S TALENT?
BET HE'S MILEY'S TONGUE COACH. LOOKS LIKE HE HAS LOTS OF EXPERIENCE.
CHEYNE YOU LOOK GAUNT YOU NEED TO EAT SOMETHING BESIDES TOSSED SALADS!

Jake
359 days ago

This is a poorly argued article. I wouldn't say that calling Kelly "fat and 30" is eviscerating her. Additionally, if you want to classify Cheyne's comment as bullying, then you must also classify Kelly's comment as bullying. The words "fat" and "stripper" both have negative connotations which could be hurtful to the person who is the recipient of these classifications. Arguing that the intent behind the statements is different is a null point because you have no method of actually know either person's intent.

Jill
359 days ago

I think the tragic part of all this is that this petty and biased excuse of a "writer" is 30!

eyeam
359 days ago

bullying? i think thats more reserved for little kids.. if your an adult and especially a famous adult deal with it, ignore it, laugh at it. people have become such pussies with all their "oh he's bullying her" WITH WORDS!!! they are freaking words who cares.

3 Replies
Skins
359 days ago

Cheyn, or whatever your name is, you are a nobody drone, so STFU about people with actual talent (and that does not include your buddy, she has none)

MZZ BEE
359 days ago

OMG! DID YOU EVEN SEE MILEYS BODY? CAN YOU SAY LIL BOYS BODY LOL

Cloey
359 days ago

Okay, first of all, Kelly was spot on. Truth hurts. She made a fool of herself in an attempt to be provocative, over the top and outrageously "adult". She was adult alright, as in "adult film star" adult. Shaking her ass, hanging your tongue out like a dog in the front seat with the window down and using a foam finger to simulate a penis when you aren't backed up to a married man's crotch face down and shaking yo ass to and fro. She looked desperate, misguided and, once again, desperate. You can let your voice and your music make you legit and relevant. Look at Demi Lovato, Kelly, Adele....any no talent skank can run around on stage out of breath with her flappy ass cheeks hanging out and catching flies with her tongue. Miley needs to snap out of this "phase" or she will be phased out.

Cloey
359 days ago

Okay, first of all, Kelly was spot on. Truth hurts. She made a fool of herself in an attempt to be provocative, over the top and outrageously "adult". She was adult alright, as in "adult film star" adult. Shaking her ass, hanging your tongue out like a dog in the front seat with the window down and using a foam finger to simulate a penis when you aren't backed up to a married man's crotch face down and shaking yo ass to and fro. She looked desperate, misguided and, once again, desperate. You can let your voice and your music make you legit and relevant. Look at Demi Lovato, Kelly, Adele....any no talent skank can run around on stage out of breath with her flappy ass cheeks hanging out and catching flies with her tongue. Miley needs to snap out of this "phase" or she will be phased out.

Stephan B.
359 days ago

I took pitchy strippers to be directed at Gaga and Miley, thus the "s". And I think a good portion of us can safely see and state that Miley's choice of moves are those commonly used by a stripper. If you have not seen this, then oh well, but that is something a stripper does. Which by the way is an extreme let down for myself and others. Miley Ray Cyrus throws out 2 stripper moves and she's excited about the new thing she has learned. She should have been Boo'ed offstage. Telling it like it is again, so why don't y'all twist my words right to Bullying since your all so bored with life and have nothing better to do. oh and btw thank you for the very Happy Birthday

1 Reply
Stephan B.
359 days ago

L. O. L. I'm better now

Nick
359 days ago

Miley is an immature mess. No comparison to KC.

pamela hanson
359 days ago

superbly written! HA!

Claire
359 days ago

Cheyne, you're gonna be 30 too one day.
Just sayin'

1 Reply
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