Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Continue Their Reign as Squickiest Couple in Hollywood
Buckle in, because Paula Patton recently sat down with Glamour magazine, and she said all sorts of things that are probably going to make your skin crawl. These two -- with all their interviews -- are getting like that really awful and itchy skin rash you had that one time: despite the fact that you kind of liked the rash because it was sort of catchy and appeared in cool, patchy animal shapes like elephants and rhinos and ducks, you quickly went back to hating it because what it was was actually was a contagious, itching, weeping, oozing rash that spread everywhere and would not go away.
Here are some of the finer points, like how Paula's husband, Robin Thicke, seduced her back in high school (via song, of course ... in his father's living room, of course), how he "ruined" Paula, and how he really, really does have a big old gigantor dong. Super -- extra long-lasting grossness, now with visuals and a cheesy 90's backing track.
Here's Paula on Robin's penchant for vocalizing swoon:
"He sang Jodeci’s 'Forever My Lady' to me. He did a full-out R&B onstage performance in his dad’s living room. Then he kissed me. It worked!"
Paula on being "ruined" (you know she wants it):
He ruined me! Gosh, I hope I’m still a good girl and a bad girl at the same time. And I think that every girl should know the bad girl inside her—and that doesn’t make her bad, you know?
And finally, on the ever-important penis size of Robin Thicke:
"Robin’s like, 'Listen, if I’m, you know, in the Miami Heat’s locker room, I don’t know where I stand, but. ...' But I think that the statement is fairly accurate!"
... So what we're learning here is that this couple is the "new" Brangelina? BAHAHAHAHHAA! Oh, please.