Robin Thicke Is Such A Gross, Weird, Gross Individual
Oh, hey, you know how Robin Thicke has that weird ability to make you feel dirty and mildly disgusted just from readings words that he's said? That's a pretty impressive little skill he's got, huh? He can talk about anything, absolutely anything -- his dad, his wife, his career, even his son -- and it's just going to be weird.
Here, let's use this interview he just did with Elle as an example, all right?
On his dad, Alan Thicke, and how he's a creeper, too:
"My dad was single my whole pubescent period. [Laughs] He had Ms. Alabama, Ms. Dominican Republic—every week. I was like, Dang, Pops. He had an indoor Jacuzzi, and he frequented it. The first time I saw a naked woman was when I went to take a shower one morning before school. I was like, Who is this girl in my shower?"
More on his dad's creeper tips:
"We were on vacation and some pretty girl walked by. I started ogling her like a 12-year-old boy, and he said, 'I know she’s pretty, but you stared at her and followed her across the room. What if there’s a prettier girl sitting two tables away? Now she’s not going to feel special. She’ll say, ‘You look at all the girls like that.’ You’ve gotta play it cool so you don’t look like you're desperate.'"
On his hilarious catchphrases:
"We joke around. If someone’s got a great outfit on, it’s like, “Oh, you’re big-d--- swingin’ tonight.”"
Speaking of his genitalia:
"Listen, compared to my son, I’m packing. If I’m next to LeBron James? It’s probably not quite as impressive."
Yes, he really just brought up his son in a conversation about penis size. So are we over this guy yet? Can we please stop blasting "Blurred Lines"? Because Robin needs to fade back into obscurity again real quick.