Sit Back While Gwyneth Paltrow Pretentiouses You to Death

12/3/2013 4:00 PM PST, by
If you know your friends here at Fishwrapper, you know that we never, ever miss a chance to have a good hearty giggle over Gwyneth Paltrow. It's just that she's a ridiculous person, that's all. And what do ridiculous famous people do around Christmastime? They give painfully boring interviews about their Christmas plans and traditions and memories. And they never, ever miss out a chance to brag.

Gwyneth did such an interview with InStyle, so let's go ahead and see what this time of year means for her, shall we?

On shopping for gifts:

"I generally start my Christmas shopping at least 2 months before. I like to get things personalized and my gifts usually require some advance time. I’m definitely a planner. I’m a solo shopper; I don’t rope my friends into it. I spend a lot of time searching for things on the internet ... I think it’s really nice that when someone opens a present it has something personal. Last year I gave everyone these beautiful handmade cutting boards, everyone in the family’s name was engraved on one side. I’ve done ceramic plates, jewelry with initials. It takes it from being a normal present to being something that’s actually really special and requires a lot of thought and planning."

But some presents are harder than others:

"I think men are really hard to shop for, much harder than women. Probably my husband, my brother, my husband’s brothers – they’re usually the hardest."

On her family's Christmas traditions:

"Our Christmas rituals are pretty much the same every year; it’s basically trying to keep the children in bed until at least 7 am! Father Christmas always leaves a stocking at the end of their bed, which is great because then they wake up and they have lots of little bits to unwrap. Then they wake us up and they just go to town on the present opening. I do a lot of the cooking before Christmas but then I usually spend a lot of Christmas cooking too. All the smells, all of the mulled wine, all of the trimmings for the turkey –we like to have all the family around. [It's] a very traditional Christmas."

On her very favorite Christmas memory:

"I remember being probably about four years old and coming down and my presents were so tall, they were taller than I was. It was this incredible moment where Santa Claus had brought me all of these presents and it was the most astounding thing to have a mountain of presents that was taller than myself."

And there you go. Now you know what you would get as a gift if you were friends with Gwyneth (something better than you would ever even think about getting for her), what you would do if you got to hang out with Gwyneth on Christmas day (smell wine, apparently), and what your childhood Christmases would have been like if you were Gwyneth Paltrow (super awesome with tons and tons of presents). Don't you feel like a better person for knowing this? Cool, us neither.

Filed Under:  Gwyneth Paltrow , Interview

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142 days ago

Haters. I don't get what was wrong with the interview. She is speaking of a very traditional Christmas and the she takes the time to personalize gifts. Not everyone give gift cards. Would it have been better if she had said "we order a pizza and give the kids money to go shopping"?

142 days ago

I agree with Gen! Gwyneth actually does her own shopping and considers who she is buying for just like most of us do. She prepares her Christmas dinner, just like most of us do. She has the ability to spend more on both counts but why should that hurt anyone? She seems to love her family and friends which is lovely in my book.

Mary B.
142 days ago

Get over your bitter self. Paltrow was relaying her life -- not volunteer work in which she was to make other's feel better about their lives. I am trying to figure out how to give my son the essentials in life right now with not a clue how I can possibly give Christmas presents this year, yet I would not begrudge anyone their gifting, family traditions or memories. I hope your attitude is a ruse and that you have a lovely Chanukah, Merry Christmas and/or meaningful Kwanzaa.

142 days ago

Actually what she's saying here is quite normal and common place. The problem with Gwen is that she is a pretentious and obnoxious woman who has ruined her brand with her goopy nonsense that people have stopped liking her. When your mommy has to come out to do some PR for you then people are done with you. Some celebs self sabotage for some unfathomable reason. She's staying on the list. She might be forgiven if only Sharon Stone says so.