Now Maybe Tom Hanks' Mini-Douche Will Smarten Up
Chet Haze is still a badass rapper -- or so he thinks -- and according to him, none of our silly frivolity is going to penetrate his steely gaze or his stony exterior. Please believe, friends:
The mass media is all just a bunch of bulls---. Idgaf about any of it all I care about is my fans. ... This generation is already realizing how outdated and archaic the media is and turning to alternative sources of information.
Oh Chester. Your insight is really important to us, which is why we keep on posting thing after thing about you (and also because you're just so darn cute when you get angry and start throwing "doe" around like ... well, like you think that's actually how you pronounce the word). And you know what? One day you'll likely look back on your this tough-ass act of yours, Chet, and laugh. We will, too, we just got a head start on all that.
Jensen Karp, on the other hand, the guy who put Chet in his virtual place on Twitter, did an interview with Los Angeles radio station KROQ and revealed why he ragged on Haze to begin with:
"I just sort of wanted to remind him of what's going on, this weird character that he's playing ... If he's trying to be Lonely Island, then he's completely succeeding, and it's very funny, but that's not the case. ... It seems slightly disgraceful to me that he's emulating things that he's seen for so long on the TV and pretending that it's him. ... If he finds me to be basic, then I'll take it. I find him to be inauthentic; he should take 'inauthentic'. "
Obviously, because SENSE and RATIONALITY, Jensen's got this whole "realistic" thing on lockdown, and also, Jensen can rap circles around Chester Hanks. Can somebody just get this rap battle started already? Can we cover it live? Can this just happen? Christmas is approaching, you know, and this would be the gift that keeps on giving forever and ever.