Now Maybe Tom Hanks' Mini-Douche Will Smarten Up

12/6/2013 4:00 AM PST, by
Chet Haze is still a badass rapper -- or so he thinks -- and according to him, none of our silly frivolity is going to penetrate his steely gaze or his stony exterior. Please believe, friends: 

The mass media is all just a bunch of bulls---. Idgaf about any of it all I care about is my fans. ... This generation is already realizing how outdated and archaic the media is and turning to alternative sources of information. 

Oh Chester. Your insight is really important to us, which is why we keep on posting thing after thing about you (and also because you're just so darn cute when you get angry and start throwing "doe" around like ... well, like you think that's actually how you pronounce the word). And you know what? One day you'll likely look back on your this tough-ass act of yours, Chet, and laugh. We will, too, we just got a head start on all that. 

Jensen Karp, on the other hand, the guy who put Chet in his virtual place on Twitter, did an interview with Los Angeles radio station KROQ and revealed why he ragged on Haze to begin with: 

"I just sort of wanted to remind him of what's going on, this weird character that he's playing ... If he's trying to be Lonely Island, then he's completely succeeding, and it's very funny, but that's not the case. ... It seems slightly disgraceful to me that he's emulating things that he's seen for so long on the TV and pretending that it's him. ... If he finds me to be basic, then I'll take it. I find him to be inauthentic; he should take 'inauthentic'. "

Obviously, because SENSE and RATIONALITY, Jensen's got this whole "realistic" thing on lockdown, and also, Jensen can rap circles around Chester Hanks. Can somebody just get this rap battle started already? Can we cover it live? Can this just happen? Christmas is approaching, you know, and this would be the gift that keeps on giving forever and ever. 


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Rebecca Q
136 days ago

Okay what the fuck is this shit that you guys have posted? Click-baited again! With all the boycotts after that dreadful Paul Walker/Why Cars Are Bad essay from Sarah, I'm surprised anyone comes on this site anymore.

What is this shit? How did Chet whoeverhisnameis get "shut down" on national radio? Because someone made mention of how much he sucks? If that was the case, Sarah Taylor would be "shut down" all day every day on this website. Hey--there's an idea! Sarah should write an article about that!

Also, why is there a side-by-side of two videos? I get the one on the left is Chet Spanks. Who and what is on the right? Why doesn't any of this make any sense? And has TMZ given you guys your pink slips yet? That would be a fantastic Christmas gift to all!

136 days ago

how can you make fun of someone and call yourself a writer when you let nonsense like this slip past you?

135 days ago

I really don't understand why you have a problem with this guy. He is simply doing what he loves to do. Good for him!! Sounds like you have a problem based on that because of who his parents are. Should he just lie around all day and count his trust fund money? Looks like he's doing this on his own and not using family connections for record contracts and such. Who the hell are you to criticize him or anyone after the horrid articles you've recently written?? Ugh! I am not coming to this site anymore. Why haven't they fired you yet??

135 days ago

Chet Haze rapping ............. I thought it was a joke. That is so funny.

133 days ago

I think people are way just hating on this kid cuz he is doing what he wants to do. Rappers these days are not rapping from their reality anyways and nobody is judging them, the other way around they have became so big while rapping about exactly the opposite of what their life's are actually about, so if we are going to start judging the truth behind their lyrics and reality we won't listen to hardly anybody of course ill still have rappers like Cassidy that I can trust is a realist behind his lyrics amongs others, so lets stop pretending that we know these people listen to the music if you don't like it change the chanel but please don't sound like an ignorant and start judging an artist. Thank you come again lol