Love It or Leave It: Gwyneth Paltrow and Her Tragic Trousers

12/30/2013 3:00 PM PST, by
1230_fish_gwyneth_split
Let's be very clear here: what Gwyneth Paltrow is doing here IS NOT OK. The style of pants that Gwyneth is wearing, the drawstring jeans with the incredibly unflattering cut IS NOT OK. It's very irresponsible, and dangerous, even, to allow this kind of thing to go on without any sort of intervention. Gwyneth owes it not only to us, but to herself to end this awful, miserable tale of woe. Those jeans are a blight on fashion, our society, and probably even our universe. They cannot be permitted to continue existing. It's just not safe.

We can't say this very often, Gwyneth Paltrow, but we can say it right now: we really expected more from you. These pants are practically the antithesis of GOOP, and we thought you knew better.

Verdict: leave it. Leave it in a fire and observe it until it is completely destroyed and no fibers remain so that this frightening thing may never come about again. 

Love It or Leave It -- Gwyneth's Jeans of Doom

  • Love it!
  • Leave it!

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Comments

Tuco The Ugly
357 days ago

What ees tragic, ees that jew keep on posting stupid sheet.
Emily Tranyham, get a fucking job.

willow
356 days ago

"It's very irresponsible, and dangerous, even, to allow this kind of thing to go on without any sort of intervention."

See, Dear Emily, I get that you're attempting to use hyperbole to make an amusing post. Many people do it. What you don't seem to understand, though, is that you don't have a gift for it. So instead of being amusing, you just look like an off the rails lunatic who is getting frantic and hysterical about someone's PANTS.

Maybe you're funny in person, I don't know. You did something right to get this job, right? I've been reading you for a while, though I question "why" on a daily basis...it probably has something to do with routine. I digress.

Maybe you're funny in person, but it doesn't translate to your writing to a person who doesn't know you. Both of you ladies come off as angry, bitter, unfunny harpies, and I doubt that is your intent.

"Leave it in a fire and observe it until it is completely destroyed and no fibers remain so that this frightening thing may never come about again."

this part...was funny. more of this, and less of the other. good day.