Adam Levine Exceeds Douchey Expectations, Every Single Time
If there's one thing that Adam Levine is really good at, like if you had to name just one thing that he just hits right out of the ballpark every single time, it's being a douchebag. Sure, he's got a successful band or whatever, and everybody loves watching "The Voice," but the being a douchebag thing, that's probably his greatest gift. That's what he was put on this world to do.
And now, since Adam is getting married soon to Behati Prinsloo, model and poor unfortunate soul, he's figured out how to be awful about that, too! Because right now, Adam is allegedly taking the time to reach out to some ex-girlfriends of his. And why? To apologize for being such a douchebag. Because of course that's what he needs to do. Apparently, the thing is that he wants to feel good about himself before he gets married, but you know what the greatest part is? The greatest part is that no one wants to hear about it. According to the source that spilled all this information, "they couldn't care less he wants to make it right." Amazing, right?
One final thing that Adam might be willing to do to make himself feel better about being such a giant douche canoe? Getting his soon-to-be wife's name tattooed on his chest, right over his heart. Because nothing says "true love" like yet another tacky tattoo.
Here's the thing: if you're so gross that you actually feel the need to apologize to a number of your exes, then maybe you should consider some introspection instead of marriage. Maybe that says a great big giant thing about yourself that requires more attention than "oh, I know, I'll get a tattoo!" Or maybe, I don't know, you're just a big ol' ass hat, and that's your lot in life. Who even knows?