Please Try to Not Win Ben Stein's Imperious Women and Sex Issues Through Money
Today in creepiest news all decade long, we have Ben Stein ("Bueller? Bueller?" and of "Win Ben Stein's Money" fame) writing essays about having obsessions with other women besides his wife, being addicted women, root canals, and spending his money being a sugar daddy to women who are likely not turned on at all by his Neanderthal attitudes.
A few choice excerpts from Ben's latest essay, titled "Making Friends and Enemies," from "Ben Stein's Diary":
As I walked through SFO in search of my driver, I came across a stunningly beautiful, absolute knockout young Eurasian woman. She was lying on a bench right next to where my driver was supposed to be, so I sat down next to her and chatted her up.
I spoke to her for at most—absolutely most—five minutes. She told me she was half-Vietnamese and half-Dutch. She gave me her contact info and we have been in touch almost every day since.
Just today, I got a text from her saying that it so happens that she’s pregnant. She had been up in SFO having a romantic rendezvous with a young man, but she decided she didn’t like him and he didn’t like her. So they broke up. But, now she’s pregnant.
“I really didn’t like him that much,” she texted me. “I just wasn’t into him that much.”
“Well, you must have been into him pretty much and he must have been very much into you because you’re carrying his baby.”
“I know,” she said, “but I’ll just be a single mom. Will you help me out?”
In that same week where I met Lucia, I also met a breathtakingly beautiful middle-aged woman—well, maybe younger than that—at a bar. I was having a steak and she was having champagne. We talked and then we met the next day for lunch and she talked a lot more. She’s thirty-two. She’s a wild mixture of ethnicities and has a figure that is close to unbelievable. She works at a very high-end specialty store in downtown San Fran. She is a divorcee. She has a four-and-a-half-year-old daughter. She wants to be a movie star. She wants me to help with her bills. I was almost speechless at her beauty, but I also could not quite believe how many boyfriends she’s had, including very famous movie, TV, music, and sports stars. If that’s her type—and God bless her if it is—she’s not really likely to see much in a sixty-nine-year-old, overweight, nerdy economist/commentator who can barely put on his socks. I told her that and she just laughed. She said she wanted to come visit me in L.A.
I said that would be fine and she could meet my wife and we would take her out for a lovely dinner.
“I want to stay at the Beverly Wilshire,” she said. “That’s my hotel in L.A. It’s right in the middle of Beverly Hills, which is where I like to be.”
“Honey,” I said after a quick text to my travel agent, “rooms there are about twelve hundred a night for when you want to be in L.A.”
“So?” she asked with a slightly hurt look.
Those negotiations, like all negotiations in the age of Obama, got stalled. But just today, she sent me a series of photos of herself having root canal surgery and then a screen shot of her bill so far—$2,300.
“I still want to come see you."
These two episodes are typical of my life when I am traveling. My main obsessions in my life are my wife, my dog, my son and his family, my secret gf from Mississippi, and any beautiful girl I meet. I am like a teenager. I get mad crushes and they last about ten minutes. Maybe less. Then it’s off to do the next indicated action. Usually that consists of getting on an airplane.
The rest is a rant about the government and politics at large, and it's all very interesting if you want to listen to what Ben has to say after hearing him objectify three different women, but on the whole, isn't Ben Stein a little creepier than anybody has a right to be? Yeah, he just "likes" women, and it could be worse -- he could be outright disrespecting them -- but something about this whole thing is just a little ... off. Anybody else rubbed the wrong way about all this, too?