Here -- Take ALL the Heartbreak, Why Don't You

7/10/2014 4:00 AM PDT, by
0710_fish_launch_bump
No big deal, just all the heartbreak that Ryan Gosling didn't impregnate Rachel McAdams in one single tweet: 
That's all. Ellen's just talking about how obviously beautiful, and obviously special this child is going to be, but the real tragedy of the heart is that, while yeah, a child sired by Ryan Gosling's loins and brought forth from Eva Mendes' immaculate, retro birth canal will be a pretty special thing indeed, it just can't be as special as a child that would have been sired by Ryan Gosling's loins and brought forth from a soul mate's immaculate birth canal, you feel me?

Congratulations. Again. All the congratulations.  

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